I’m confused, too, because I get that in Gothic novels the house is usually a character as much as a setting, and the state of the house often mirrors the state of the heroine, but I don’t know how the yellow powder drink plays into that.

Yes, it’s very weird to say “You don’t need to join a school-mandated harrassment and overdrinking machine filled with other rich white girls to be successful. You’re literally at a school. Maybe focus on school instead.”

I know she’s not quite the same generation, but tonight was the first time in ages I thought Nicole Kidman looked really, really amazing.

Lol, sure, I’d be loudly “secure” too if I thought marrying some guy and holding down a job (at, my god, Estée Lauder) were some sort of diamond-clad hot-shit metrics of success. In fact, maintaining relationships and employment are just the basics of adulthood. I’ve managed it myself without leaving an embarrassing…

“Lol poor summer child, these girls put up with incredible indignities so that they can live lives of staggering middle-class mediocrity!”

I can’t tell you how many situations my (Boomer) mother has gotten herself into because, essentially, “they nagged me/I couldn’t say no.” Which is great for my mother because she loves to bitch about that shit for the next 30 years.

I had a friend (average US height but shorter than me) who did her study abroad in Japan. She loved the baths, but struggled to shave her legs in the tiny shower stalls.

True fact. I lived in a Muslim country 3 years ago. I first heard of ISIS the same month I came home, in August 2014. They obviously existed before then, but not in such a way you’d have heard of - because news in Sudan doesn’t fuck around. They are on top of every terrorist attack in a big way, and showing the…

I take issue with nothing you said except the implication that 45 goes to the bathroom 9, 15, or 23 times per day. The man eats nothing but late-night KFC. He goes to the bathroom once a fortnight as a result, and that’s a hill I’ll die on. “Full of shit” is not (just) a metaphor.

Just because sure-why-not seems to be deleting all comments that aren’t virtual blowjobs, allow me to paraphrase their comment here:

“Why work to be popular, when, like me, you could be odious and unliked with no effort at all?”

Amazing. Please be my friend/comedy partner.

How many applications to change one’s first name to Melania do you think are represented there?

I was about to say that that graphic is incredible because it shows how fair the allocation of ACA funds is, but was presumably shown for another purpose.

“I’m a drunk at 18, but my Daddy went here,” is quicker to say, but it doesn’t pack the same rhetorical punch, you know?

“I’m never getting farther than this, so these are my glory days.” Some people have college careers, some have high school careers. Some poor unfortunate souls have middle school careers. Most of us live and thrive past 25, and have real lives and the corresponding real careers.

Read - resume padding, brown-nosing, and nepotism.

It’s almost like the really well-adjusted and successful people can make friends on their own. And later, they can get jobs on their own, without leaning on Alpha Iota Gamma solidarity!

To be honest it never enters my mind - if I felt constipated all the time I’d try to fix it, but I don’t. I was almost 30 by the time I realized that was weird (Ken Jennings made a joke about a shit every morning being better than sex, and I intuited that that means most people shit every morning). It’s just whatever,…

I want to be your friend because “designated pooping location” is exactly the phrase I would have come up with if I had let my annoyance at the OP’s anecdote build up a head of steam.