Mississippi is literally the only gift God ever gave the rest of the Gulf states.

Nope! The Americans with Disabilities Act states that you can’t charge people more for accommodating their disabilities. The bonuses paid by the city of DC is to incentivize cab fleets to put their WAVs on the road - a lot of fleets were taking the subsidies, buying WAVs, and then letting them sit on the lot, so…

I genuinely think the more awkward piece of humor was the “one doesn’t pop one’s cherry in dressing room 2" bit. Like, I get it, the polished gentleman spy is also a crass raunchmeister, but that’s not... the way humans, like, use that expression? It’s not “popping one’s cherry” every time you try a new thing. I…

I’m 31 and in just the last few months I’ve started seeing them “out of the corner of my eye” when I’m trying to do something else. My house is really prone to getting insects inside during the summer (and I had to deal with bedbugs 3 years ago) so every time it happens I have a small heart attack thinking there’s a…

I was able to convince my best friend from high school to start asking for a leaf of lettuce and a slice of tomato on his hamburgers when we were in our mid-twenties, so now those are the vegetables he eats. Other than that it’s chicken fingers and french fries and all the bread and butter he can eat, and nothing…

Exactly. The people who feel sympathy for him are showing evidence of their good character, but their good sense should never let them be blind to the fact that the feeling would never in a million years be reciprocated.

There’s nothing that’ll ruin your night quite like finding out how many people think “But it’s inconveeeeenient!” is an acceptable reason to deny accessibility.

It’s not that every individual cab is or needs to be a wheelchair-accessible vehicle (WAV), just that a certain number of available cars need to be accessible. In some cities (I know about DC, and I’d bet NYC and other large municipalities do this too) the city offsets the cost of a certain number of WAVs for each…

The older I get, the more I appreciate famous people who seem like they’re generally okay people, even if don’t really (or really don’t) like the work they’re famous for.

That headline is going to be my sign for the next march, I love it.

It’s next door to that one place that makes the noodles and dumplings in the window.

If all the inexplicable things about the D.C. Metro (Orange and yellow color scheme, why? Stations designed to look as much like dank holes in the ground as possible, why? Only one track each way, why? Gross nubby leather on the seat grab-bars, why? CARPETING, OH MY GOD WHY?) the perv bench might be the most…

And yet most of the amateur porn shot in subways I’ve seen comes from DC Metro.

This beats my “worst thing to happen on Metro” story by a thousand miles, and I’ve ridden almost every day for like 15 years. (Tuesday morning, sat next to a group of Georgetown students straight-through-crewing it, had to listen to one of them vomit in a garbage bag for 3 stops. Everyone has this story).

The only similar life experience I have is my own mother, who will put a sheet of newspaper across her lap and pick and eat blue crabs while sitting up in bed, complete with little cups of vinegar and melted butter.

There’s a place in DC’s Chinatown that has the best Chinese bakery goods I’ve ever had, and every time they have fried sesame balls I buy the whole batch.

The rule is lifted for water during the summer! That way they don’t have to take seriously any complaints of un-air-conditioned cars that turn into ovens 3 inches from the surface of the sun.

Forgive yourself. I’m from an era where we still cut out cardboard “feathers” and made headdresses every Thanksgiving in grade school. We’re all getting better!

Hey, eventually you’ll learn that I genuinely disdain you as a person and nothing you say matters to me. And maybe tomorrow when someone says “loose” when they mean “lose” or whatever passes as cardinal sin in your sorry life you’ll think twice before you try to fill the holes in your soul by correcting them.

When you figure out how to say something “quietly” and not “at the same volume as everything else” on Kinja, then I’ll start taking your talk about spelling, grammar, manners, graciousness, “help,” and everything else seriously. Until then, I will continue to make as many personal attacks as I need to until you learn…