Mine’s in October, early enough that it’s still warm, and it has never been less than a cloudless blue-sky day on my birthday that I can remember. October’s a great month for it.

I had orphan Thanksgiving one year and it was the best - a lot of friends were also unable to go home for the holiday, and my friends are young enough to put a bit of effort in on the cooking and celebrating, unlike my parents, who are basically too old to care (and frankly I’m too lazy to be doing 100% of the stuff…

I had the jewelry box, too! Likewise never done 5 minutes of ballet either.

I mean, that is largely what I’m paid for, but I’m not paid much. I can’t imagine getting paid that much to sit on my thumb and do a press conference every few weeks.

All the bears are like, “Aw, c’mon guys, we have to shit here! Get a room!”

Instead, they prepared girls for what the modern feminist movement is actually like so much of the time - just another clique, where participants spend a lot of time being rude about people who aren’t “in” because that’s functionally the only way to differentiate members from everyone else.

I am sure both of those sources will last the next 18 years until her children are able to fend for themselves. No force on earth is as long-lived and constant as charity and the human attention span.

This whole thing whiffs of the sort of “I’m a mean girl but I’m a brunette, so it’s okay that I’m rude as fuck, unlike those blonde cheerleaders, who are bitches when they do it” sentiment that I’ve seen in so many 90’s high school movies, that just makes me glad that I wasn’t in high school during those years.

My only complaints about Kingsman are 1) At the point where Eggsy says the training experience is “like My Fair Lady,” the joke would have been even funnier and well-made if he had said it was “like Pygmalion,” and it annoys me, and 2) When Harry says that “one does not pop one’s cherry in Dressing Room 2” with no…

I’d imagine it’s a lot like getting in a car and the doors are locked and you’re doing 60 on I95 before you realize that the driver is drunk, being a sane person in the Republican party right now.

Exactly. I’m not crying about all the out-of-work whale oil salesmen and corset manufacturers, either - it’s useful to know why this demographic is behaving the way they are, but my actual sympathy can be better deployed literally anywhere else.

I once had the opportunity to have a shirt made reading “___ Is Not Your Bitch,” and passed on that chance like a fool. Really wishing I’d had it made to read “GRRM Is Not Your Bitch,” because how amazing would it be to be able to post that selfie in the comments right now?

I never knew about the asparagus urine smell until it came up in conversation when I was well into young adulthood. I figured I hadn’t noticed it because I wasn’t raised in a family where something like that would ever be discussed, and it’s true that the language you’re brought up with colors your perception of the…

Maybe you just needed someone to explain your rights as an adult and a woman to you. No one’s saying it’s easy, but it’s totally doable! I know because I’ve never done it! :)

OMG my cat’s name is Bunny too!

I feel Neil Gaiman’s essay on fandom and entitlement issues (scroll to bolded text to start) might be illuminating and instructive reading right about now.

The story of my life since I got a cat is the terrible selfish/responsible battles I get into with myself, where I’m like, “Yes, it would be awesome/cute/amazing if my cat did this, but would the cat think it was awesome or amazing? Or would she be freaked out and miserable the whole time?”

That is, of course, my job and main concern - maintaining positivity in spite of sometimes-unpleasant reality to avoid discomforting random internet people.

Happy to find out that she has 100% more qualifications than I thought she did, sad to find out that the qualification she has is still worthless enough to be the document version of this emoticon: ¯_¯

Another big part of it is that forced assimilation is incontrovertibly and totally wrong, but being able to assimilate in at least some aspects is a big factor in how successful (economically, socially, etc) an immigrant is likely to be - I would even hesitate to call this “assimilation,” though, as it seems to be…