Please continue furiously explaining yourself while I continue to not be interested in you at any age.

Yes. How shocking, that the person who doesn’t think babies are cute would also refuse to be charmed by a picture of your, what, 3 year old self? That you posted on a thread about babies, for some reason?

Well, what you got was a joke that you decided to be insulted by. The world is truly constantly surprising.

I was making a joke, too, but I find the fact that you were expecting praise for being a kid who looked like a kid funnier than any of the jokes we were intentionally making.

I thought my friend was being a bit sensitive when she complained about having to see the heil-ing Statue of Liberty advertisement on the Subway, but seeing this has brought me around to her way of thinking.

And you expected something different from a person who already told you they consider human babies ugly and said you looked like a teenage prepster, so it seems we’ve both made some serious mistakes.

I hope things have significantly improved for both of you.

Well, yeah. You’re not going to fall in love with someone who lives deep in the forests of Sumatra if you live in New York City. You just aren’t. But if you happen to be staying in the Sumatran hunk’s spare bedroom for a week, and he’s down and you’re down, then why not?

I agree that they’re all unspeakably awful, but I’m not convinced that any of them are going to be able to garner enough support to actually put up a fight in the general election, which is why I don’t worry too much. Even if Trump doesn’t decide to run as an independent and split the vote, the GOP primary field has…

I don’t understand why this kid who looks like every preppy guy who went to my private high school is supposed to be as cute or cuter than like, any given puppy. Also, considerably older than a baby.

Controversial opinion time: Human babies are the ugliest of all the mammalian babies. Like, even baby aardvarks look like little bunny/pig hybrids. Human babies just all look like Winston Churchill. I don’t think Winston Churchill is particularly adorable, and I don’t think babies are either.

He is a beautiful soft anime prince who I bet also smells nice.

I think calling the signature cocktail at the Viper Room reopening “The Phoenix” is pretty much the most distasteful thing I’ve heard of today that isn’t related to Donald Trump.

Bitsy is more time period specific (1700’s) than race specific, I think.

Dorcas. There’s a town called that in West Virginia where I spent the absolute worst month of my life when I was 16.

The fact that the respondent’s name is Beth, the whitest name possible, is the real cherry on top of this other-people-are-embarrassing sundae.

Can you imagine the personality of the type of person who thinks anyone cares about their feelings on the meteorologist’s wardrobe? Their jobs mostly consist of people trying not to talk to them, their pets have all run away, and their friends have all faked their own deaths and moved to other countries.

A lady at my work moved to the DC area from Texas because the pastor at her TX church decided to move here to start a new church. Because the thing the DC area needs is another church, particularly one that isn’t Catholic, Baptist, or AME.

Right? How do you know it’s Thanksgiving if there aren’t marshmallows? I eat sweet potatoes all year round, but the marshmallows are only for Thanksgiving.

I’m sorry that you’re putting all that effort + booze + sugar into something that still only comes out as “edible.”