I was exaggerating for effect. I actually go almost exactly half-way - between Greenbelt and Alexandria.

He’s already taken his name out of the running, according to the Guardian.

She dropped him as a client and ended his skincare services.

I have to drive 3/4ths of the way around the Beltway every morning to get to work, and let me tell you I really want the Pope to come back? I made it in about 20 minutes the last two days. Today? 5o minutes door-to-door.

Yes, what a timely and relevant reference to make in this, the year of our lord two thousand and fifteen.

I don’t know what you are talking about. We are charming and brimming with decorum in everything we do.

If he’s clever, he can use his don’t-give-a-fuck-I’m-leaving momentum to force both through before he leaves at the end of October.

I was so shocked when I learned this, because Princess Sofia does not look like the kind of lady who can use sex to buy her way to the literal top of the heap. I don’t mean to snark, she’s perfectly lovely looking, but she’s not a person that I look at and think, “Girl, with looks like that, you don’t need to worry…

Racist.

I’d buy the top one on a whim of thinking it was cute, and then never carry it once I realized how silly I would look bringing it to work.

When I was 5, I made my dad buy my mom a scorpion encased in resin on a keychain. I have no idea why I thought my mother would enjoy such a thing, but goddamn, she had it attached to her keys for at least the next 15 years. She doesn’t carry it around any more, but I know it’s sitting in the top drawer of the desk in…

This is truly the most terrible thing I’ve ever seen being a) sold for money, b) not on Etsy.

To be fair, when I was younger and had frequent kidney infections, the pain was located fairly low down on my back (if you drew a straight line from the points of my iliac crests around my torso to the back, you’d hit the spot). I honestly would’ve thought that was where my kidneys were, too, but in any case that’s…

Funny story, my first pet rabbit was named Rickover after Mr. Hyman (my parents thought it was amusing).

Also, depending on which airline you fly, the food on international flights can actually be really good. Both Virgin and SAS have meals that I could miss, but are good enough that I’d feel that I was missing it.

My grade-school bullies were not even that cultured.

No one has to be good at everything, particularly stuff they don’t have any interest in, but to brag about how bad you are at something as though your lack of accomplishment is an accomplishment is just so weird to me.

I’m lucky because my name doesn’t have any natural nicknames (Erin is only 4 letters long anyway), but one time a my bull tried to call me Airhead Erin in a reach for relevancy and meanness.

I had a teacher in high school who was named after Lady Brett Ashley from The Sun Also Rises. When she went to move-in day at her university, she found she had been assigned to the boys’ dorm.

Also it’s pretty clear that this is “occasion” makeup. Whether that occasion is taking a selfie that’s going to get 10,000 likes or going to a black tie gala, no one who’s not paying someone else to do their makeup daily is doing this every single day. An hour and a half is not an absurd amount of time to spend on…