That’s the most annoying thing about Modcloth - that they change the names of the clothes to their own twee things, and only mention the brand if it’s someone big, like if they’re selling Jeffrey Campbell shoes or a Vivienne Westwood top. It means if your size is sold out, you can’t go searching for it somewhere else.…

A pound of gold would make one mean motherfucker of a ring, though.

Right? I take my rings off to wash my hands AT HOME, AT THE END OF THE NIGHT. If you are “out” for any possible human definition of “out,” you leave that shit on your hands, even if your hands are coated with literal shit. You can survive whatever crap you miss under the band for long enough to get your ass home where…

At 21, I lost my glasses at a club and then felt stupid for bringing glasses that I didn’t intend to wear into the club. Also I was in a foreign country and needed my glasses to do my job, thus ensuring that the probability of losing the glasses would approach 1.

All my friends know that the only situation on this earth in which I will allow a text or IM to go out with a typo in it is if my cat has totally taken over one of my arms and refuses to give it back.

Best use of the cuttingly cruel emoticon I’ve seen today.

But what a great economics lesson! “No one ever got really rich by hoarding non-money objects.” So crucial.

I like to think my own style falls between ‘casually appalling’ and ‘earnestly absurd,’ so I not only like this descriptor and am stealing it for myself, but I like anybody else whose style this could be said to be.

The bride has saved all the mud from between her toes to make the figurines for the top of her first anniversary cake.

I am truly one of those feminists that nervous, pallid MRA’s like to think all feminists are, and nothing I have read about this clusterfuck has done anything except make me increasingly comfortable in that mindset.

We have now exceeded any thinking person’s possible interest in your genitals by 100%, and I assure you that as long as the colloquial definition of “martyred” includes “whining like a baby where other adults can see me because someone put something on the internet that I would like to not be on the internet,” then…

Bullies anywhere are awful, but at least when people are bullying other adults, you can assume that a string of angry invective is lingering right behind the bullied person’s teeth, held back only by a sense of dignity and a realization that ending the exchange sooner is better than dragging it out. When grown adults…

If you invited all of them I can’t really see why that’s a problem. I’m picturing the destination as the excuse for why fewer than 10 people total get an invite, see you next month at the barbecue Aunt Susan.

Did you slip and hit the link to the wedding blog with your dick by accident? Unless you’re strapped to a chair with your eyelids propped open with toothpicks being forced to read this while Beethoven plays in the background, you don’t get to act martyred by people writing about themselves in search of some sympathy…

The reality is that for most of us, life provides plenty of opportunities to learn to eat shit and keep your mouth shut. Reading a lot of BCO makes me think I’d rather my own kid not get a food-service job as a matter of course.

I DREAM of one day having both the motive and the opportunity to exact such a revenge, flawless in its cruelty, with no extraneous parts.

That Quizno’s, where you can get a hot sandwich made with interesting ingredients, teeters on the edge of bankruptcy, while Subway, where you can get a cold sandwich made with the same stuff you can find wedged in the back of your freezer drawer at home, rakes in millions, is my final and ultimate proof that God is…

Well, it seems that sort of thing almost never happens, but the rest of us can dream, right?

I am not, but thank you for the offer.

This needs approximately 10000 more stars. It’s so insistently, gratingly tone-deaf to repeatedly say “do it the easy way, and if you don’t do it the easy way it’s because you’re stupid” in the face of differences in preference, family demands, religion, cultural expectations, etc etc et fucking cetra. Tell you what,…