Haha. I always joke that I didn’t get a cat, I got a purring teddy bear. My cat has never clawed me, even when I’m doing something awful like putting her in a carrier, and only “bites” me by taking a finger or a knuckle in her mouth to show affection. I don’t know how I got so lucky - I’ve asked her, but if she had…

I go to the local Aveda school for the same reason - I have quite long (nipple-covering) very thick hair that I dye fire-engine red every 2 months. I don’t do it myself because I’m so bad at hair I didn’t figure out how to make a ponytail without all the bumps until I was 12. If I took my mane to a DC salon they’d…

Dudebro got hit on the head and woke up thinking it was the 1970s, and wants to start another “scare” where parents are oh-so-concerned because their kids play Dungeons and Dragons and got a pentacle necklace for $5 at Hot Topic.

My cat is always the most precious thing in the world, but she is never more loving and adorable than in the 5 minutes where I have to either get out the door NOW or be late to work.

That Brooke Hogan smells like balogna is something I not only believe, it is now the hill I will lie down and die on if called upon to do so.

Not if it’s the axe in the lede picture. That’s clearly been cut off.

That’s what doesn’t square with me, either - that the axe is only the murder weapon because that’s what they found, but what they found wouldn’t work as the murder weapon (because it didn’t have a handle).

I don’t think it was the place - they were very able to make the drink, which is what I was given. It’s just when my boss was taking everybody’s order for a round, the look she gave me when I asked for a screwdriver was what I was commenting on.

“It’s random, and I’m going to write you fucking War and Peace to explain why your personal experience/research/peer-reviewed study doesn’t prove anything!”

Treating other people like your personal tastes are their problem is also disgusting. Allow me to point you towards the mashed bananas and chocolate milk until you can learn to behave like a grownup.

I’ll keep that in my back pocket for next time!

I’m with you on number 1. If I ever get to 2 I’ll let you know.

Flavored vodka tonics are my favorite “fancy” simple drink - like, for a wedding or nice club, whereas rum and coke is still my standard for the bar at the local music space or whatever.

When I was at the theater with a work group in London and everyone was getting drinks at intermission, I got looked at funny when I ordered a screwdriver - I guess the name does make it sound like a more aggressive drink than it really is, or maybe mixed cocktails are seen differently there.

Stuff white people get away with, volume 17,852: Putting your hand on a weapon with intent while facing down a police officer.

To be fair, once you’ve seen one bold person get hit by a car, the 15-30 second difference between walking now and waiting doesn’t seem so bad. Plus, if anyone hits you running a red, you can pay your student loans off!

I would take any number of “thought you were” conversations if it meant I was getting more interviews. I’ve never interviewed for a job and not gotten an offer or it (I haven’t taken all the offers, but I always get an offer) but I don’t get nearly as many interviews as I want compared to the number of resumes I send…

I’m considering changing my resume to First Two Initials Lastname, but I worry that in a field other than writing it would be obvious, or worse, just offputting. I don’t know if many men present their resumes for job consideration under initials, or if uncertainty surrounding not knowing how to address a person might…

She explicitly wrote under JK Rowling because she didn’t believe young boys would want to read a book if they thought it was written by a woman, or that parents would buy such a book for their sons.

This is why I changed my screenname from an obviously female one (it had “lady” in it) to a totally neutral one. Even on Jezebel, the response has been better - I get more stars and more responses to anything accidentally witty I post, and a hell of a lot less backlash and snideness.