Un-Athletic Can’t Stop Humping Useless Butter Face is the story of my wife life.

+1 Mumm-Ra

How long before that robot comes to grip with the eventual and unavoidable grotesque socioeconomic aftershocks that are unique to the Olympic Games and kills itself like the security robot at the Georgetown Waterfront?

So lemme get this straight: actual violence- shrug, boys will be boys, shame it had to happen to those brown people, have some thoughts and prayers. Fictional violence - an affront to civilized society and unfairly targets conservatives so it has to be stopped at all costs.

Are you kidding? Shannen Doherty looks like a J-Pop star

I hear Hogan is unable to wrestle anymore, so he should have plenty of time on his... Nevermind, he can’t read.

Miles Austin has “summer teeth” : Some’r pointing this way and some’r pointing that way

Is your dog named after Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine?

They must have been playing the Ventures in the clubhouse before the game 

Ever seen “Summer Job”? That was one of my favorites and apparently nobody else has seen it.

I want to see the fat kid from Happiness

T-Minus 20 months until the inevitable Tocchet/Kessel gambling-”gate”

This is the equivalent of Gillette saying “Fuck everything, we’re doing two blades”

The second either of these guys shows up on TV as a General Manager/Executive/Commissioner/Constable is the second I know that Vince is still pulling the strings.

Physics Professor

I really wish the Dems would take the Marvel Universe approach to the whole primary season. Start to establish clear personalities and strengths amongst the candidates then right before the convention, unveil your Avengers platform: Elizabeth Warren as President with Mayor Pete as Vice President - Biden would be…

Huh. What a country!

Shorts aren’t so bad but the full-length movies can be pretty painful. Unfortunately, no matter how funny the riffers/guests are normally, this format really doesn’t do any favors.

The comics artist? Warlord?

No, no - Hader as Dennis Eckersley!