Check his bank account.

Your opinion seems valid at first blush, but I’ll need to hear more about your soccer background to know for sure.

I’m no snake expert, but I’m pretty sure that’s a GOT-damn cobra. Again, not an expert.

“Historically Horrendous Boner...”

Not a fabulous family trip to Lake Buena Vista?

Well, how does he expect her to listen now?

The Iditarod, Presented by United Airlines.

Good read, but Joe’s not inarguably the greatest LT of all time.

+1 Mike Hunt.

Eh, he went 1 for 2. Better than Pops from the foul line.

We all saw Blue Chips. Kid comes from honorable stock.

According to that picture up top, he received a beej right there on the bench. That’s illegal.

You serious, Clark?

This is The Onion, right? Oh shit, this is fo real?

Why?

In fairness, he issued a warning:

Jerry Richardson: [Cums. Again.]

Jesus. You seem fun.

These women are so brave.

I can’t believe he’s not wearing a Steve Smith jersey.