In what way re: marketing ringer? Maybe some of the Pinkprint promo but the Safaree and her cousin stuff was really real—she was not doing ad hoc marketing. You'll be able to tell in her tone and presence when the videos drop.

I will listen to this album until the mountains crumble into the sea and Jesus comes again because it is hot fucking fire.

It's not always about you.

I am a good white person. ... And do you know what? I don't see a need to apologize for it.

That's sad because I just heard not all presents like you. :(

I just want you guys to all know that I like presents.

I love your professor.

I was assuming she said that cat pics are "okay though" because he asked if she wanted a picture of his dick. So, in that context, I would have definitely been a jerk to him, too.

HOLY SHIT WINNER. (Stefan voice) This story has everything: a proposal, vomiting, oral sex...

Yes, I will be a doula to all of Jezebel, free of charge!

Outstanding. As I professor I can assure you that this professor has probably told the story of receiving that essay almost as many times as you have described sending it. Will you be my doula?

My birthday is exactly a week before Christmas, and as such, is almost always the day that my office chooses to have their holiday party. This has happened several times over the years with various jobs, and it is generally uncomfortable and has occasionally gotten weird.

The most memorable, however, was several…

You don't give girls enough credit. Think of how stupid you'd have to be to date a boy. That's the real test right there.

1. As a male, this is not news.
2. Darwin Awards are not depressing. They're fascinating, bordering on hilarious.
3. Hold my beer and watch this!

I dunno guys...she's only the 20th woman to come forward. Is there a man somewhere who can confirm all this???

Yep, can't use makeup, perfume or sex toys or give them as gifts and also work for social change. Good take.

For the days you can't trust yourself with real poison.

I don't believe that Chicago exists. I have never been there; no one I know has ever been there (except for my friend Jackie who changed planes at O'Hare, but she said it was real snowy so it could have been a different airport covered in white paint); "Chicago" is a funny word and "City of Broad Shoulders" rings real…