Ha!

Hey ladies, David is an expert at handling all of your data sets*.

You know a guy who will never have to pay for sex? David Roher. He just walks up to women and drops sexy math jokes as pickup lines.

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The 2011 Hatters Guide To Fantasy Football

Wow, that's a shocker; which naturally means Jeter will replace Minka by dating Pink and then Mark Schlereth.

Keep your head up, buddy. I have a cousin with an amputated leg and he's more active than most of the bipeds I know. I hope your Dad has a successful recovery.

A word of advice from experience:

Pitchforks are scary. But if you really want to scare a pack of rats shitless, show them a picture of San Gorgonio Mountain.

Much of Compton is referred to as "Blue Turf" as well, but Boise State has no plans to contact those offenders.

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It's appropriate that last year's Redskins season is compared to Rubber Soul, because I have a feeling this year's edition will make most of their fans want to put a Revolver to their heads and pull the trigger.

"I'm happy to see Deadspin using methods of infiltration. All of that plastic used in the bottled water industry is just a waste."

Alright, we've copied Denver by placing a horse's face on our helmet. Now, how do we continue this theme and go about getting one to be our Vice President of Football Operations?

Rim: Hey man, how do I get your job?

Bleacher Report has been pulling the same stunt with a similar story which asks "What if Michael Vick were Native American?"

Nice.

Birth Place: (City) ________________

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