so this is how I'll die…

shaking my dick hole at unilaterally retarded lifeforms invoking foreign edicts through brash harm, lounging on laymans?

it has taken them five years to get from Atlanta to Richmond. Unless Rick gets his pilots license, I don't see them making it to Los Angeles in our lifetime.

Most likely not but I hear Brian Dunkleman is available

The Walking Dead: How to Over-Saturate a Brand and Alienate Fans

I like to imagine Ryan Murphy as being more of a Baby Jane Hudson type personality. It helps me come to grips with how fucking horrible all of his shows are.

Emma Roberts just sits in the corner of the set, pounding her fist into her palm, menacingly staring at every cast member, wishing a motherfucker would try to step off set. Just ask Evan Peters

American Horror Story: The Kardashians & Cait

well it's not like they're remaking Everybody's All-American any time soon so what the hell else would she be doing? L'oreal commercials?

Betty White in Granny Moans For The Bones

Spike Lee angrily tweets Perry Ellis' gravesite location.

Ich Bin in the ground barely an hour and already das puns start?

I've been looking for an excuse to start using cocaine again

That's what you get for thinking you can be cool and be parents.

Surprising. I figured he'd end up designing custom leather guitar cases that double as a rocket launcher.

I hear Facebook uses a fisheye lense and petite women to make itself look bigger.

Terry Melcher was afraid of the dark.

a billion you say? well that's all well and good but please, tell me more about this DCFC rim job hack.

Three. Two to file the paperwork and one to drug a 13 year old girl for him.

this is like a really bad light bulb joke.