In terms of sheer gorgeousness, I'll take a black opal!

What about Karen? Did you forget about her because she's such a slut?

I want to thank Jezebel's writers for watching and posting about this show and Lindsay so I didn't have to.

What the Onion did to Upworthy will melt your heart. You won't believe what happens next. WATCH

Renee Baio: proving yet again that you can either spell correctly or be hateful, but not both.

Oh Renee, if a black person would say something like this, they'd get shot and then the person who shot them would not go to jail for it because *stupid excuse why black people are threatening and it's OK to shoot them*.

No can do, still on the run for arson.

I was babysitting once and they had exactly this kind of thing where you could control the camera to move, etc. I periodically checked on toddler girl who was angelically sleeping during nap. The next time I turned it on and panned down, she was sitting upright directly in front of it, staring at me. Her eyes were…

Honestly, this is some Oryx and Crake level bored internet sociopathic entertainment. It's chilling.

43% of the public agrees with you!

All I could think was: If you cheat on your spouse, wouldn't they, if surveyed after knowledge of the adultery came to light, decide they love their kids more than the jackass whose clothes are currently being tossed out of the closest window? Or is that just me?

But can I use this as an excuse to appease my mother in law about me not wanting to "give her grand babies"?

"And yet, I find that in about 95 percent of broken marriages, though the husband's the one that ran out on his wife, the wife loves her children more than she does her husband,"

I just withhold sex from my wife every time she hugs our daughter. Take that women!

Women can never win. If we don't love our kids enough, according to society's standards, we're horrible and we don't deserve to live. If we love out kids too much, according to this jackass, then we only need to blame ourselves if our husbands leave us. The patriarchy continues to do everything in its power to make…

Half the time I think Lorde's commentary is brilliant and the other half I think she's off her rocker. Magazines, like, don't just spring forth from one giant omniscient brain? They hire, like, different writers? And these writers might even have different opinions sometimes? And sometimes writers can even like one…

Another panelist, Facebook's Winter Mason, defended targeted advertising as fundamentally pretty useful to customers. Better a Facebook ad for a stroller than an ad for beer you're not supposed to drink for nine months, in short.

I prefer this version (:): http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slat…

She was pretty beloved here in NOLA and the town LOVED this send off.

I'd say it's because he threw a huge glass pitcher into a window in a crowded restaurant and only by a miracle didn't seriously injure or kill someone.