Did you get the memo, I said drunk. And when landing, you stay in your seat. Not go pee.

considering it was a woman, nope

one would think this would aid in natural selection

I personally want to know how to deal with the drunken bladder-eternally-full people who demand I get up and let them out during turbulence

"I'm used to treat my Canon DSLR with the utmost care"

It's a depressing fact that FRIENDS don't INTERACT with each other over the phone. Because, you know, if someone is trying to, say, reach them to tell them something important... And then he/she doesn't answer ever. Kinda makes them not a friend doesn't it.

Great, not I can't feel my eyes.

I won one of these from my university's "Hogwarts Week" competition. Yeah, my school looks like hogwarts, thusly a hogwarts week was created.

My problem is less me and more that my friends are the introverted monkeys.

Just a protip for college students: Don't forget that there's food in the fridge, it is possible to vomit at the smell later

great, another reason for people to start pinching me

It's just frustrating that I had the deal in my hands, but I have to get permission from the parental units first. Because I waited for the permission, I missed out on the deal.

yup, it doesn't work anymore

wow! what a coincidence! I happen to be going to one of those overpriced schools too!

the frick do you go?!?

cream of mushroom soup. 'nuff said

meh, for the skinny only of course.

Aw, and I had my 'doom' sign all set up and ready.

NOOOO MY ZOMBOCOM FIX! I NEEDSES IT!

Does it come with rabid apple fan-nerds?