It’s probably not keto if it’s coated in brown sugar. 

Yeah, you obviously only say shit like this publicly if you 100% want it to get back to your ex to see how they react. Or at least in order to get the message to them in the weakest ass way possible.

I started the migration and keep trying to make my friends in California jealous of all the SPACE we have in the Midwest and how pretty and affordable it is and how nice people are lol. For some reason it’s not working and they keep staying there, weird.

“a sanitised smorgasbord of multiculturalism, available at an inflated price”

I’ve never taken Ambien b/c I’ve heard the stories and I’m scared, but for awhile I was taking OTC sleeping pills somewhat regularly and I kept waking up finding food on the counter that I’d partially consumed without any memory of preparing or eating it. It was kinda disturbing lol. 

OMG! Some people make you wonder who in the hell raised them.

I noticed when flying alone in the middle east that I’d usually be seated with the other women who were traveling alone - I had a feeling it wasn’t coincidental. But, maybe they did so thinking it’s for our comfort (avoiding men who might bother us), who knows.

Yeah I took a couple flights alone at 15 and no one paid any attention whatsoever. No extra steps or anything. I then landed and took a Greyhound alone and no one blinked an eye then, either. The 90s, I guess!

I’ve seen a harried mom on a flight in the midst of travelling-alone-with-multiple-children hell and I really felt like offering to help but I couldn’t think of a way to do it without seeming potentially creepy or condescending. 

Welp, I was just about to eat lunch but my appetite is officially gone for the rest of the day.

I don’t recline, but I also don’t throw a fit when others do despite the fact that it’s resulted in multiple beverages being tossed into my lap (when you have those ‘sudden drop’ recliners rather than the slow recline lol).

As a fellow tall person, I definitely feel your pain. But, technically, you didn’t pay for ‘a seat that physically fits your body’. You pay for what’s there, a space that has measurements you can inquire about if you have reason to worry you may not fit (sometimes heavier people physically cannot fit and can only fly…

The worst I’ve seen is my flight being delayed by some men who wouldn’t sit their asses down (in their bulkhead seats on an international flight, no less) b/c they refused to sit next to women. But I guess it’s acceptable to refuse to do such a thing if you’re a gaggle of old Jewish men who say it’s against their…

Same. I can’t believe we still haven’t figured out a less brutal way of bringing children into the world lol. It’s unbelievable that a woman has to be ripped apart to have a child.

California wines are ubiquitous in Europe. 

Yeah, I get that this is in her book and not a conversation, but what do you say when someone’s telling you how intimidated they were by the amazingly impressive intellect of their ex when you know with 100% certainty that said ex is definitely not very bright but just embarrassingly parrots words and phrases he hears…

That’s so true. I’ve worked with/for literal geniuses with incredible accomplishments to be proud of, and very, very few of them are ill-mannered jerks. Typically, they don’t interrupt, they’ll respectfully (not impatiently) listen even if you’re far below them on the totem pole, and they’re not arrogant. 

‘Schtick’ is right. It’s a certain brand of faux intellectualism we’ve all been subjected to by some insufferable twit who thinks they’re actually intelligent just b/c they’re the smartest guy in their group of dumb friends. It’s always the person who’s accustomed to being surrounded by people who aren’t very bright…

I agree with EVERY sentence in your comment.

“...the defense has alleged that a kinky experiment with “choking” resulted in death by strangulation...”