Thank you, you gabbling knee-high internet goblin, you.

Yes. *hands you a custom-printed cardboard coaster*

Go to a REAL doctor, not some shitty certificate-based excuse mill where you pretend you care, they pretend they care, and for $500 you get a note

Eh. This is at least a bit less-malign than those “I identify sexually as an attack helicopter” shitheads.

Difficult-E-Bake Oven

Really they aren’t fooling anyone: Nobody wants to *eat* gold, but many people are curious about being able to *shit* gold the next morning.

Imagine if we had a political movement that channeled 1/10th of the energy into elections that it does into policing the internet for Forbidden Words and Ideas.

K. So 1.) No it isn’t, you’re just flatly incorrect about that. But 2.) If you were right (and you’re not), could the problem perhaps be solved by you not reading this thread?

CEO has fled to Israel

gold-plated fondue

Next they make a Broadway stage musical of Aladdin. But it’s the Broadwasy stage musical version specifically of the live-action adaptation.

I wonder if H.P. Lovecraft was racist. I suppose if he were then someone would excitedly tell me that, with all the seeming of it being a little-known fact. But no, no one ever has done that, not even once.

Star Wars isn’t very good.

We need this here. I demand the right to be mocked WITHOUT the fuss and bother of visiting reddit.

I know: Solo was really good. People who hate it also seem to hate water and music.

Maybe it’s okay. Maybe we’ve watched enough wars in the stars. Maybe it’s time we moved on with our lives.

You’d have enjoyed an Irishman-style digital de-aging?

Meh

Lo, and verily forsooth shall all of our poop be funny-colored in this the year of our lord, 2020!