Are you that funny slavery humor I’ve been hearing about? People mention that you exist from time to time, but I genuinely haven’t seen any proof.

There will be a lot of whining about this for months, so let’s be clear: basketball is not baseball. It bears no pretense of being a gentleman’s sport with “unspoken rules” about player and team conduct off the field/court. He didn’t sign the contract, he didn’t even publicly announce his decision, and he clearly…

I dunno, this was trending on Kinja. Kotaku seems kinda dismal now that I’m here, though.

This one’s pretty good:

Perfect:

I guess I was just optimistic that being an adult, he didn’t actually think there was more than two or three minutes worth of discussion to be found in the topic of video games.

I made it through 20 seconds of the first video. It was the most obnoxious/repellent thing I had ever encountered. Is the rest of it like this? Does he talk about things other than video games?

While all this nonsense is happening, other people in the universe are doing things like walking around outside and having sex with other human beings.

I wouldn’t count out Utah for 7 or 8... Hayward and Favors coming off arguably their best seasons yet, Burks, Gobert, Exum and Burke all developing... Trey Lyles a sneaky-good draft pick... they’re a young team but this might be the one where they start breaking through.

I’m a huge Spurs fan, so I’m very happy about this — as much as I obviously love LA and how he fits with the team, and what it means for the next few years for the franchise, I’m also just really into the optics of a major free agent signing with a small-market team: seeing Greg Monroe turn down the Knicks for the…

Similarly, if you’re enough of a defensive liability that you need to take on the DH position, you have no business playing baseball.

When you have this conversation in public do other people pretend they have something to do somewhere else or do they just get kinda silent and look at each other awkwardly?

I’ve never considered myself a person who could murder another human being, but if someone did this to me, I’m pretty sure I’d choke them with my bare hands.

Elsewhere in Texas, both Governor Greg Abbott and Attorney General Ken Paxton are running their tiny lil feet off trying to figure out a way to not have to comply

...until the Spurs shape offensive rebound savant Cady Lalanne into the second coming of Buck Williams.

I desperately want the Nuggets to draft Hezonja so I get to see him and Nurkic claim the city of Denver in the name of Hrvatska.

The best part is when the Thunder waive him by the end of the day to free up cap space and he signs with Guangdong Southern Tigers.

*dances around a while* all these franchise movies you guys talk about are traaaash

Funny, they had a lot of problems handling the Giants last year.

The Tampa Yankees? Fuck you.