The Secret of the Oozing Spay Scar

This summer.

All Aboard the Anal Gland Express: The Secret Life of Petcare Professionals

The Secret Life of Pets 2: Everything's a Litterbox If You Dream Hard Enough

Sicario Paperio Rockio

"If I can just get these gradients to blend, my family can eat for a week!"

The Professor, The Madman, Their Neighbor and His Accountant

Only a rube would try to catch up on sleep at the Love Shack.

Tiiiiiiiin roof!

We need to bring back Clooney's Batman for a prank-off.

Vicki Vale?

Now I'm picturing some 9-year-old, torn clothes, hunched over a pirated copy of AfterEffects in an abandoned coal mine.

I took my wife to see her last year. My wife had never heard of her prior, and left saying "she is my favorite stand up comedian."

Oh, for all of their negative qualities, Nixon and Goldwater are spinning in their graves over what the GOP looks like in the 2010s.

I know the Nixon-era GOP's platform had a lot of "progressive" ideas, but out in the field they were saying "you might remember us from all those NAY votes regarding Civil Rights!"

Henry Winkler is 5' 6" and the statue is 5' 5", although that might include the small platform.

And yet Milwaukee's "Bronze Fonz" is a beloved statue, despite only being 15% less terrifying!

Well, we aren't so into soccer, so we have to wave our flags around all of the other times instead.

You were close. Coupla extra vowels.

Nah, we just comment for the first hour or two and then peace the fuck out before it hits their Google Alerts.