ugh that 5a. is such a fucking pain in the ass for girls who never cheat. Guys can be such babies about it.

ETA: UGH and women get cheated on too blah blah I get it okay

No, wash cloths help to exfoliate the skin and remove bacteria that can be both harmful and the cause of lingering stank. Just rubbing soap on your body does not make one clean.

“traditional wooden long-tail boats”

This. Once, my GF filled up my water bottle while I was in the shower (we have opposite schedules), and even though it’s a wide-mouth Nalgene, she didn’t put any ice in it, just whatever room-tempish cold water came out of the faucet. I mentioned it to her when I got home, and now I fill up my own goddamn water bottle.

You know what? I liked Garden State and I kind of loved the soundtrack. You know what else I liked? (500) Days of Summer.

I should probably admit right now that I am fat myself. I’m barely 5′1″ and 135 pounds and wear a size 6 and a 34DD

Immediately change into lounging clothes (aka pajamas and no bra). This is the most consistent and effective thing for me.

A cop once didn’t give my friend a ticket because I gave him my phone number.

Agent random cat Bubba is clearly just “chillin” as you say. Bubba is in no way attending classes in order to learn precious human secrets about things like thermodynamics and nuclear fusion in order to construct a power plant for team cat hq. Because that would be totally ridiculous and completely unbelievable.

Working.

My kid is 6 and we’re taking her to Disney later this year. We’re getting her a stroller because I know I’m going to be pissed about something at some point and hearing her whining about being tired will push me over the limit, and I’m not lugging a kid on my shoulders.

homegirl is fucking lucky as shit and also has the lightest period on god’s green earth bc if that was me please believe they would have blurred out my entire lower half and all 26 miles behind me that were literred w huge globs of my uterine lining.

Men are never happy. They want a woman who is good at sex but don’t want you to practice.

• “My ex-boyfriend used to come at the drop of a hat.”

lol fuck off with this. there’s nothing wrong with having a nanny. there are shitty parents with nannies and shitty parents without nannies. this is malarkey.

Watching the clip with Kanye I found myself wondering, “Do I... do I love Kanye? I think maybe I love him.”

It’s amazing how many trolls online will say, “where’s the proof that this happened?” Here is your proof. No more anonymity, all guts. I applaud them.

>Lemon grab a divisive character.

See I wouldn't count that as an ugly wedding dress. In my mind the truly ugly dresses are the ones that have utterly failed at what they're going for.