EVERYBODY GET AWAY FROM THOSE CANS!

KEEP FIRING ASSHOLES!

It was’t exactly over sir, more to the side...

Garbage highlight

Thank God Wayne Newton decided to sleep in a different trash can last night.

+1. I’m cryo-ing over here

Oh sure, but it’s totally fine for the Red Sox to freeze their own player?

As far as surfing memoirs go, I’d hate to be in Finnegan’s wake.

For all the terrible, terrible things the Jets have done to me as a fan, Rex Ryan trolling us as coach of the Bills is the most heartbreaking.

The Jets-iest story ever somehow just got even more Jets-ier

You sure he isn’t just tweeting about the Deadspin comments section?

Barber: What kind of look are you going for, bud?

Worst summer camp ever: Camp Enemkpali.

#BlackBallsMatter

Whoa there...no need to be a little prick. You holed up in the snow somewhere?

You’re a very pleasant person.

Unlike your post, which perfectly describes what you are: a disgusting internet troll.

Will would not describe himself as the former, and barely as the latter. Since you’re being so mean, I’m giving him a promotion.

The idiots on this website! He broke his jaw. His feet are fine.

So we can call this one Benghazi, right!?

Oh... we can’t?