If you think a minor traffic infraction remotely justifies attempted murder: Fuck You.

I’m not very often, but I think I’m gonna make an exception in this circumstance.

They were driving high and endangering other innocent motorists on the road, sure I’d rather they’d not be dead, but fuck ‘em. These are the kinds of people who wipe out other people’s families simply because they’re getting their own jollies off.

The conspiracy theorist in me wants to think that this company is owned by Comcast.

Lets call a spade a spade for a second: This is all just a giant scam, right?

My daily fantasy consists of both of these companies going away.

It’s hard to overstate just how badly I want Mariota to thrive and Winston to bust. The 30 for 30 on the Bucs’ decision would just be so glorious.

a player who almost definitely did what he was accused of

People keep saying “Brady probably did something,” but on the basis of what? The Wells Report might as well have come out of Pyongyang.

I cannot work up one ounce of give a shit about the amount of air that may or may not have been in those footballs. Let the quarterback decide how much air he wants in the footballs. I’d love to see a quarterback use footballs as flat as a flitter that he has to throw like a Frisbee. Let the kickers select whatever…

I think what Goodell is trying to say is that he personally believes that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some, uh, people out there in our nation don’t have maps and, uh, I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and, uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and, I believe that they…

Geno Smith: “Ikemefuna Enemkpali”

This is the first time a Jets player has been publicly cold-cocked since Brett Favre sent that picture to Jenn Sterger from the team’s ice-bath.

Enemkpali has been cut? I would have named him team MVP.

That Gopher really dug himself into one helluva hole!

Exponent is going to be super popular now that they’ve demonstrated a complete willingness to eschew science and just make shit up. Bill Cosby next client?

What we’re looking at, in the absence of red-handed guilt, is the NFL, its investigatory arm, and that arm’s hired experts railroading an investigation with shoddy, biased works of bad science, and then holding up their homework to Roger Goodell, who sticks a gold star on it and calls it “highly credible.”

So let me get this straight....

The entirety of Wells report reads like a conclusion in search of evidence. This was far from an independent investigators report and that is its biggest fault.

Good news Jet fans! You now get to see Brady win in New York on a weekday!