JESUS TAP DANCING CHRIST.

I love the Internet.

I guess the Palin family is hoping he’ll get ..back on Track.

Eh, I keep some Christmas music on my phone year long. Mind you, I listen to it when I want to listen to it and not because someone from Marketing decided that consumers really respond well to... [insert sound of me punching Marketing in the neck]. And, honestly, there are days that a mellow rendition of a carol is…

I reread the stories from the previous year, and this one still haunts me:

Trump would cut off his own face to spite Obama’s legacy.

Do you think a pirate lives in that room?

or hot ham water.

DTMFA

But they never owned an armoire!

Please let whoever it is have donated to Trump not Hillary.

I love you!

Also, the Gizmodo homepage could be snazzier.

Honestly? If this could be mobilized nationally, it would save childrens’ and parents’ health and lives. I’m all for this. I’d be part of this too! So many more social services are necessary for kids and parents in this country. How could we do something like this? It’d be like Starbucks for Kid Care. And…

If that's a real thing sign me up too. I have two friendly dogs and endless patience

I want to put a smiley face sign in my window that indicates me as a emergency, respite child care mom. You? Go take a shower by yourself. Walk through a quiet library. Me? I’ll feed your kid muffins and have them run in the back yard until they are too tired to sass.

But, y'know, only for twenty minutes or so...

“I never said six!”

Who says the strippers are all women? Who says they’re not exhibitionists?

I think we all know who the REAL murderer is...