The piss thing reminds me of when you used to be able to smoke in bars and you could do that thing where you'd try to see how long you could keep a cigarette but hovering while you took a leak, or try to maneuver it into one of the drain holes.

it's evidence that baseball games would get much higher ratings if they were always played by people in costume

And people wonder why the name Michael was the number one name in America for like 30 years...

combining some of the best things in the world—soccer commentary, the NBA basketball, gross and sweeping incompetence

Eckstein, bar-admitted, quickly spread through the nether-regions of the criminal justice system, much like a virus...

What's amazing is how that number 1 team won the league when all they do is stand around.

I find this comment to be extremely politically incorrect.

But did he know that Joe Cart is only the second person ever to end a World Series with a home run?

Okay, that's fair, but as I've mentioned in a couple of comments, paraphrasing "I like to think I would" as "I could" I still think is reasonable. "I could" doesn't imply that he definitely would, only that he believes it's within his capability, which a) "I like to think I would" also implies, and b) is hardly…

By one interpretation, I could see that. But say someone said to me "Do you think Bobby stole the money last night?" and I replied "well, he could have." I'm not implying that Bobby definitely did, only that I believe it's within his capability. In this case, Valentine is saying "I like to think I would" which can…

As mentioned, I don't believe "I could" is declarative of anything other than his belief in his ability to do so (and considering he's a formerly successful major league manager and the Red Sox have a now-successful roster, I'd be surprised if he or any other MLB manager didn't believe they had the ability to go to…

See I would disagree with the premise of your second sentence. "I could beat the crap out of you" is not necessarily implying it would be done. "I would beat the crap out of you" or "I will beat the crap out of you" would qualify as definitive. "Could" also implies "could not," as in the ability is there but the…

Again, as I just said, he didn't say "I'd like to think I could" he said "I'd like to think I would." "Could" is an acceptable substitute in that case.

He didn't say "I'd like to think I could" he said "I'd like to think I would." "Could" is a perfectly acceptable substitute for that.

My point is aren't there better ways to spend one's time then being the guy who gets annoyed over headlines?

Uh yeah, it's without quotation marks, meaning he's paraphrasing in the headline. The combination of (as you so helpfully bolded) "I'd like to think" and "I would have been able" are perfectly reasonably reflected with the past tense conjugation of the verb "can," seeing as how the main definition of "can" is "to be…

Khan Singh wasn't too bad in that area either...

To answer Raysism's question, 742 yards.

Malice with a Chalice

To celebrate the Chiefs' latest win, Reid proceeded to vomit all over Alex Smith at the end of the fourth quarter.