You’re obviously an evangelical Christian because you think we give a shit about your religion.

A few thoughts:

That is the correct take.

My ex-wife hated casual-dining places not because the food was reheated or any of that but because “if we’re gonna eat fast food, let’s just go to Del Taco and pay fast food prices instead of spending $40.”

better yet tell her this is the porn site I look at get over it. 

Latinx isn’t Mexico specific, it’s a US term to indicate Non-Gendered Non-Specific Latin American groups (covering a wide range of Latin American countries of origin rather than Latin European countries.) I’m sorry if you were offended by it but it’s just a non-gendered form of latino/a.

Thin skinned pork product defends his hot dog.

I was just thinking that Tesla owners are in for a nasty surprise when their rates skyrocket due to Smart Summon accidents.

I mean, if your vehicle hits something while you’re using that feature, I’m going to hold you accountable.

Man...as an adjuster I can’t wait to hold some smug Model 3 summoning douche at fault for damage to property.

IS PUNCTUATION A LIBERAL PLOT? DON’T YOU HATE WHEN THEY CORRECT YOUR SPELLING & GRAMMAR? 

I made my boy get a screw driver and remove the seat from the toilet and clean the entire thing, inside and out, whenever he left a mess.

You must be very proud of them!

God, I used to work at the Boys and Girls Club and... yeah. I’d walk into the boys room and just hold my breath and kick every stall handle with my foot because they were all full.

in america, you pay for one beverage....by god you’re going to drink 17 glasses of that beverage (i don’t even finish a regular bottle of coke at the house....but you put a glass in front of me at a restaurant, and promise unlimited refills? i’ll drink 13 gallons of the stuff) faster than you ever thought you could…

I’ve never felt more like Wiley Coyote in my life. For sure we’re going to get that pesky roadrunner this time!

You’re correct. It common practice for defense attorneys to alter the appearance of clients for just that reason.

hyper-vigilant is the new code for “scared of black people”

D.A usually refers to District Attorney aka Prosecutor &/ team, Legally.