LOL, OMG

a) Also that he was sure Sean Oneal would be writing this newswire.

I've never eaten at Jimmy Johns and it seems like everyday there's another reason not to.

Yeah, once Blimpie started eating at Subway he got thin and was only interested in youths.

*sad trombone

Don't drop the chalupa!

It's scary, every time I'm on the highway it looks like more and more people are paying attention to everything but the road.

As long as artificial intelligence doesn't need to rely on soylent green for sustenance humans will be around.

Dave Matthews' tour bus driver could learn a thing or two from these fans.

I wonder if Garrett would respond to a change.org petition?

Sedan delivery sure is hard to find these days, so you just gotta take what you can get, eh?

The AV Club

Hentai or gtfo

But why are there six dogs and eight buns?

The referee is distracted by a topless Grace Jones.

I have great memories of family vacations there when I was a kid!

Big Red

At least hump someone's leg.

*wags tail


*farts

It was about his new hat and all the hot chicks he was gonna get with it.