He's always right about what the illness of the week is, but the way he takes too much painkiller and turns into a bat all the time irritates the staff.

It's like Sam Kinison! He was yelly, too!
AHHHHH!

I miss Greg Giraldo. I would watch this if he was still around. He could make Bieb cry.

The Eels, too.

I read this headline as "Patrick Swayze says…" and I blanched for a second.

The better man!

Internet, your father and I want to talk to you. We're concerned.

Job, Internet.

He has to keep up with these sick beats.

with a baseball bat?

Ooh, there could also be a supernatural element. Perhaps the spirit of one of the naval officers could be present, his soul tied to the wreckage. He could follow the wreckage to the surface, and be freed.

Great job, Television!

I didn't think it would be a pun.
I won't get fooled again.

Holy Shit! It's the attack of Eddie Munster!

meh job, internet.

Caaaaarllllos!

Where wolfs one a salad these days?

He was said to have become so self obsessed that he was a constant irritant to his co-workers and fellow performers with his arrogance at having made the big time, that cast and crew alike were known to say, upon his departure from anywhere, "Who was that masked asshole?"