On Tumblr (I know, I know), I follow a handful of young queer folks who live on farming communes. (I also frequently hear young people wishing they and their friends could start small farms or communes together — the desire’s still out there!) They tend to be populated by people who knew each other already, rather…

Everything about CPCs makes me furious. One of them started sending a bus equipped with an ultrasound machine and pregnancy tests to my town, so I wrote an article for the local paper about it — making it clear that they can’t offer actual affordable medical services and will refuse to refer you to places like Planned…

I’m fed right up with this shit. Am getting a hormonal IUD placed next month, and my husband’s getting a vasectomy. It’s as much to keep politicians out of my uterus as it is to repel hypothetical oopsie-babies.

As a child, I loved planning things. I’d dream up improbable — but meticulously scheduled — outings for myself and my friends, written out in barely legible handwriting on printer paper. (Yes, I was a weird kid.) One example I still recall was taking a pull-along wagon loaded with snacks and puzzles to a local nature…

My husband and I accidentally synchronized our morning poops today. I was grateful we have two bathrooms. 

honestly I agree! I’ve occasionally posted risque pictures of myself on social media for the sole reason that I enjoy some occasional horny attention. No one’s pressuring me to do so; I’m not trying to make money or build a brand; I just dig it when people are like “damn, girl!” And I’ve had friends do boudoir…

My brother and I weren’t raised believing in Santa Claus, but my dad still thought it would be funny one year to hide all our presents and put ziploc baggies of actual coal in our stockings.

My little sister had a taste for the ghoulish as a tot — I’d tell her gory stories about man-eating giants and haunted woods and she’d beg for more. So I was forced to get creative. Eventually, I invented a new monster: The Generic.

he’s the Greek Chekov

Me walking into my parents’ room at 2 a.m. to tell them I threw up

In case you’re curious but don’t want to waste perfectly good fudge and roast beef: http://www.midcenturymenu.com/2016/02/beef-fudge1967-a-vintage-recipe-test/ 

Just make sure to consume all of said fresh-baked biscuits ASAP. Much like McDonalds fries, they become basically inedible the second they cool down -- the box even acknowledges this, which is hilarious to me. (That said, they’re so scarfable when hot that I’ve rarely run into this problem.)

Gotta say, it’s kind of alarming to see a highly restrictive diet designed to treat epilepsy turned into a weight-loss fad for restaurant chains to capitalize on. Seems like more casually the term “keto” is used, the more likely it is for people to give it a shot without fully researching the many potential…

There’s a potato chip factory near my house, and when the atmospheric conditions are just right, you do get wafts of this distinctive old grease and musty potatoes smell. The chips are delicious, especially the Red Hot ones (it’s a spicy BBQ flavor); the smell, not so much. I can imagine how one could get sick of…

this is a bad look, guys

My eyes started glazing over at “bug mad”

God, this made me queasy. My little sister’s gone to this camp for art for the last two summers. I had to do a frantic skim-through to see if he was still involved there at all. 

Short answer: I can’t.

My dad always ate my leftovers — a much lesser violation than what you experienced! — and I still have a chip on my shoulder about other people eating my food/getting more than I do of a treat/etc. I just can’t imagine! 

This might be an unpopular opinion (I genuinely don’t know), but I like to store mine in the freezer rather than the fridge — the texture of partially frozen Cool Whip, halfway between whipped cream and ice cream, is just more pleasant to me.