This is bullshit. Everyone knows that Wonders Years was cancelled because Paul quit the show and became Marilyn Manson.

I guess some of us were hoping for something more like this:

I warned Popeye of this exact thing.

My uncle is a retired Air Force colonel. This is what he looks like:

You’ll be thanking me once the Change.org petition I signed to get Trump out of the White House finally goes into effect about two and a half years from now!

Maybe we should start a petition to make them tell us.

It makes slactivists feel important.

Of course not. He’s dead. 

Brisbane Times reports the whole thing is actually part of a viral marketing campaign for Australian tourism.

That’s gotta be the first non-ironic use of “feminazi” that I’ve seen in more than a decade, and I sometimes subject myself to the Breitbart comment section. You’re like a unicorn or a sasquatch or terrible person or something.

I get all my news from the gas pump TV screens while I’m filling my tank.

I’m a lousy and selfish dad and the first year was a breeze. Then I left, and now “Hollow Shambles” is my daughter’s porn name.

The Kay-Bee Toys is still at the mall, but the mall closed.

I’m definitely a Toys R Us kid. Mainly in the sense that I’m about to declare bankruptcy.

[takes Geoffrey behind the woodshed to shoot him in the head without kids seeing it]

The toughest part will be having to re-home Geoffery Giraffe. it’s tough, the older ones don’t get adopted that easily.

Apparently, the apparent need for an editor made this sentence’s appalling appearance apparent.

Climate change denial is not just a river in climate change deegypt.

Actually, that guy just slipped and dropped his gun. DeNiro is just handing it back to him. What a nice guy!

You see, it’s one of those ironic nicknames. Like calling the fat kid “Skinny”, or your neighbor Terry “Not-a-shit-head”.