Genius.

Average of 62.2 on four-year-old iMac with an ATI Radeon HD 4850. I feel impressed that it can run it at that. My graphics card is oooooolllllllllddddddd at this point, and completely un-upgradeable as far as I know.

We had a dedicated line when we got our Internet connection back when I was in fifth grade, I think? That made things go significantly smoother. Nothing better after school than damn Warcraft II on a dialup.

Oh my God. Ancient Warfare: Ghostfighter.

Hey now! It's an upgrade already!

I can't believe I was the first to get to it. Blew my fucking mind.

As father to a future nerd, that was amazing. Wil Wheaton, congratulations on being awesome and helping make us nerds be a little more awesome, too.

John Cusack would choke a bitch.

You don't understand — there's always money in the banana stand.

Unless you really, really, really dig looking homeless, fabulous and utterly pretentious at the same time. It'll be the 80s fashion of this generation — one our kids will totally make fun of us for having ever made popular.

I just noticed he had an anchor tattooed on his neck, realized I have at least five friends with something similar to that and almost soiled myself.

That's pretty much every show I've been to in the past five years — even metal shows. I walk in these damn dives, and I'm expecting some serious old school, Pantera-esque long black hair, un-showered-ness, stupidly exaggerated T-shirts — the works.

Instead? I get Toad. Hundreds of Toads.

That Bowser is pretty good — but that Toad?

It's not a problem with gaming — it's a problem with games and the underlying mindset behind them.

Those sons of bitches could scale walls to catch someone who stole a loaf of bread. Scale walls. Then they'd proceed to take every other awesome thing you had, unless you chose to murder them, and they totally knew you'd kill them, that gleam in the eye.

Damn. Someone don't understand JC like JC understand JC — ya dig? No good scalawags talkin' shit about that lord and savior. Uncool, man. Uncool.

It's got a bit of a ghetto, Steampunk vibe to it, like if Captain America was born in a dumpster or something.

That looks incredible. I hope it picks up speed again.

I know the food joke concerning Bioshock Infinite has been made 14.5 billion times, but your comment was so fucking unexpected, I spewed coffee on myself through uncontrolled giggling.

Nope.