Where the fuck is Randy Johnson?! SAVE US, RANDY!

draftmarbles.com

The only aliens allowed at Augusta are the grounds crew.

I’ve never put my hand on ANY women … In my whole entire life, No Sir.

That’s the main reason I haven’t switched to graphite shafts

I kinda want one of those. It would go great with my Nirvana t-shirt

A view inside DraftKings offices:

He said he was gonna cheer for them, not bet on them.

I'm from the south so I know how devastating it is getting the clap from cousins.

It’s all fun and games until you wake up to Sonny & Cher at 6 am forever.

I still find this funny.

Worst way to start a race, indeed.

Seems like an unfair advantage, given that Chimera had three heads.

That’s not fair, if you’ve lost millions of dollars throughout your life betting on something, you’d probably hate it too...

I believe the leaker is a low-level intern that goes by the name Barles. Barles Charkley.

“I talk with my hands,” Menzl said.

No wonder why no one dunked in the game.

“Hold this under the backboard.”