Sometimes i like to take acid and/or do cocaine at parties instead of drink. It results in fun times and makes the drunkness of everyone around you seem more entertaining than offputting.

What most people saw as a career high game, I saw as a cry for help.

A one-game suspension seems lax.

I just measured my hand at my desk. Why?

Plush 1

A good dog.

This will not happen. Showing my child something from Bleacher Report is the type of evidence my ex-wife needs to regain custody.

Well if your day job consisted of driving karts around danger filled roads and dodging turtle shells thrown by angry italians, I’m sure you would want to make training as realistic as possible as well.

Oh man. I bet he has the biggest penis.

I think it works like this:

What the fuck is wrong with you

Because the Nets exist.

If only tip-off was at 2:30 then they could make the game.

Billy should have helped you with this headline:

The front of his jersey says “Duke.”

+ uno