1. C

Why does the Post assume the invisible batter is right-handed? Racists.

So anyway, how far can he punt a football?

Tommy's got a pretty good grasp on the Underexplained List format.

Native Americans: We'd prefer it if you stopped using that word. It has an ugly history, and only serves to denigrate our culture, existing as a hurtful reminder of the centuries of indignities visited upon our people.

I CAN’T BELIEVE NO ONE HAS MENTIONED THIS YET BUT IT’S A FORCE PLAY

Maybe you should show the lead singer of Madison Rising a little goddamn respect.

I guess the Orlando vs. San Antonio final was too tough to call?

Green apple is for assholes. (If anyone just discovered that they're an asshole, I'm sorry you had to find out this way, but I assure you that everyone has been saying it behind your back for some time now.)

Will you please explain it to us once you figure it out?

Everyone needs to stop thinking in terms of the shittiest version of a category that you can purchase. We should be voting based on the best salsa and guac available, because we are people of exceptional taste who enjoy the finest that life has to offer.

And he was even more explicit in his email to an admin on an Astros message board, which included this:

I guess turning over a vote to an entity consisting of your cronies is fine, and turning one over to an entity consisting of baseball fans isn't.

I would turn that giant space across the freeway into an "amusement park". It would feature both modern thrill rides and more traditional wooden roller coasters. Perhaps after some time, I would expand it to include water rides – for an additional expense, of course. This electric tram you speak of would ferry…

I will always love you. For this comment.

I still don't get it. I mean "saw off" makes sense now, sure. But what's a "cutter" and a "Mariano Rivera"?

Hey guys! GUYS! It's funny that he's a tight end, because he might go to prison, don't you think? Because his end – meaning his anus – wouldn't be very tight anymore!

Curiously, my proposal to rebrand the team as the Washington Gingerhonkies remains unaddressed.

Pretty sure that's Matt Cassell.

Recipe for the best chicken salad you'll ever eat: