Yeah, but have you ever seen a fish with a sunburn? Check and mate, Lindsey.
Also being hit by a bunch of unwanted pitches right now? Equifax customers.
/Elvis Presley fist pump
Lest we forget, Webb was also the guy who broke up Brett Favre’s consecutive games streak, making this the second time he’s been brought in to cover up an unconcealed croc.
Damnit. RIP, MCA.
Do not hate LaVar Bell. You are playing right into Lavar Bell’s hands if you hate Lavar Bell. You are giving him more power by hating, you are enhancing his image if you hate him, you are making him larger if you hate him. Like Freddy Krueger in the first Elm Street.
In related news, the City of Cleveland issued a public apology for taking a knee from 1972-2015.
Fall is the season Summer ends, ergo it is the best season. Fuck summer.
So I guess Chris Christie shits blood every time he walks more than 10 feet? Well, blood and ham, probably.
Jesus Christ, that was great. I’m now going to burn all my columns and not write anything else until I can do something like this (never).
I have quit twitter so this no longer concerns me but for statistical analysis purposes only, do you know if “quote tweets” are included in the RT count? Because, if not, the ratio of “quote tweets” (almost always a 😳 emoji or the word, “Wut?” followed by some pathetic bastard’s miserable quoted tweet) to actual RTs…
On the upside, Manziel was just offered a $100 million contract to fight Floyd Mayweather, Jr.
Here’s my issue with the “fook the Mayweathers” chant: Jeff Mayweather never hurt nobody. Don’t lump him in with the rest of those scumbags.
Nicely done, rookie.
Jack Howell. I thought his ‘87 Topps card looked cool. Years later, after a sojourn to Japan, I told him I was a huge fan and he didn’t believe me even after I started spouting off his numbers. That’s how improbable it was to be a Jack Howell fan.
In other news, Keith Wenning has just signed a contract to fight Floyd Mayweather, Jr.
In other news, the US Open Men’s Draw has just signed a contract to fight Floyd Mayweather, Jr.
It’s not all bad news, however. Arsenal has just signed a contract to fight Floyd Mayweather, Jr.
I never believed Manny was juicing because the guys he was knocking out were all stiffs or completely finished. There was no need to hypothesize any explanation for Manny other than Bruce Trampler’s eye.