Why weren't you cast as a villain from a rival camp in Wet Hot American Summer?
What the fuck, Barry? #TeamCartier
Now if only I could remember my password...
IT'S YOUR BOOK NOW, SKINNY!
That guy should never have moved in next door to Estadio Azteca.
Sing a duet of Afternoon delight with your niece.
Previous winners include: David Beckham, a man who rides bicycles called Chris, and two of your guys!
It says they conceded two goals before scoring one of their own. I'd expect a lot more deception from Dear Leader.
A Christmas Tree? Come on.
Tim Howard is so lucky he gets his own special goalie jersey.
The Brits already did it.
Pack a coat, because South Africa can get pretty Chile.
Is it true that the answers to all of the world's secrets can be found in David Hirshey's mustache?
Yoel Judah and Roger Mayweather would kick all of their asses.
You know it's not Jason Whitlock because there's a bicycle involved.
To be fair, that's probably the most relevant article to ever appear on Bleacher Report.
Gay southerner was robbed.