‘make me feel’ = one part early gaga, two parts prince, and ten parts goddamned sorcery

My boys, baby and I skipped school today and saw the first showing at 10am. Theater was packed. My heart soared several times because, finally, I was watching a movie, not about pimps, hoes, slavery or drugs, but one were my 5 year olds cheered for heroes and booed villians that looked just like them. They saw a woman…

...judge, judge, judge, judge, judge

Well this should be fun

“You’ve gotta be in it to win it!” shouts local lottery winner whose Memaw bought him the winning ticket.

Exactly. “I can’t punch down anymore!”; “I can’t rely on the bigotry of my audience to compensate for my weak material anymore!”; “I can’t trade in easy stereotypes for cheap laughs anymore!”

When comedians complain that they can’t do comedy now that “everyone gets offended” what they’re really saying is “our job is too hard now that we can’t pressure women and minorities into awkwardly chuckling when we blatantly insult them.”

Or maybe you can’t get work because you aren’t that talented.

I thought they meant this parentage:

“I’m not fuckin’ Julia Roberts.”

You can pry my dogs from my cold, dead arms. Like hell they’re staying outside during evenings, disrupting the neighborhood by barking at the door endlessly— they’re pack animals and need their people. Nor would I lob them off indefinitely onto someone else while this dude works through his shit. It’s way too easy for…

Just here for the comments:

Why are we even dragging the troll out the greys?

It must be nice to not get shot after kicking a cop.

Megan, I like your work but I’m pretty sure this is Kate Hudson.

I’m super emotional most of the time and this trailer didn’t help. I can’t make it through the scene in Mamma Mia! where Meryl helps her daughter get ready for her wedding without bawling, and thinking about her being gone for whatever reason... Yeah anyway, I will watch this and I will not care if it sucks.

I vote for replacing ‘fetus’ with ‘nugget’.