honestly your wedding sounds fun AF. I want someone to be singing "Somebody loves you" by Betty Who as the wedding party walks down the aisle.

I photograph weddings, a couple last year got their dog as their matching tattoo... Really sweet.

i was about to vote 'sex' but at the last minute thought "PARMESAN TRUFFLE FRIES" and changed my vote to restaurant.

Deer became a theme of our wedding somewhere along the way and we love to camp. Went to Zion and Glacier for our honeymoon!

because everything is golden when we are together

I SAVE MARBLE-RYE BREAD!! FOR THE MOUTH PART OF YOUR FACE!!

Why would you put marbles into rind bread? And why would I want rind bread anyway? I want the soft part of the bread - not the rind.

Perhaps they were time-traveling Cardinals from the 15th Century who were hungry after having excommunicated Copernicus for his anti-Ptolemaic notions of a heliocentric solar system.

Will there be 38 divorces in 38 countries?

I used to work the fry section for Wagamama in Brisbane's Fortitude Valley. In those days, both of the most popular menu items (ie. the most Western-friendly) were from the fry section. Wagamama didn't take reservations, it was all walk-ins. One Wednesday night, four school groups walked in at the same time. On…

You should tell her that if your uncle dies, the family will be putting her down at the same time.

I am still in a metric fuckton of surgical pain. My back and abdomen hurt like hell, and I feel like someone is stabbing me where my cervix used to be. On the upside, I somehow have lost three more pounds since the surgery even though I have done absolutely nothing, and my Busia told me that she is taking me clothes…

I got to tour the Britannia yacht a few years ago. My main takeaway was that QEII was BANGING back in the day. She had to hide her light under a bushel a bit more than Princess Margaret, but that is a very hourglassy figure.

Laboured.

GWB: Selma's the gal that wouldn't get off the bus, right?

It matches the drapes.

Porking!

Title of photo:

On my fathers 50th birthday we threw him a surprise party. All eight of my siblings made the trip to be there and one of my younger brothers brought his then girlfriend and her cousin tagged along. I immediately noticed her gracefulness but at the time was going through the realization that I had failed at my chosen…