In the entire history of post-colonization Australia fewer people have died from nasty wildlife as are killed by gun violence in America in the average week. Just a fun lil’ fact.

Y’all missed the best Hardcore History thing to come out in a while though:

This raises an important question: is Ready Player One really masturbatory or is Spielberg’s hand just on the back of Cline’s head?

I love me some Tuneyards, but those three new tracks aren’t doing much for me. They just sound really...generic. Merrill’s still got an amazing voice, but the writing and music just sounds like it could be anybody.

And lawyers gonna lawy

Seriously, I had never heard these guys before so I just did some Youtube surfing and I haven’t heard a lamer excuse for punk in a while.

Listen, she’s his daughter and a father has a right to be proud.

In similar news, I’ve decided never to start acting.

Yes. Specifically, it works better as a twelve hour movie with a bunch of mid-season bullshit cut out.

One of these days they’re going to have to have Burnham actually follow an order so that it actually has some sort of impact when she doesn’t.

Yeah but have you ever seen a human baby? Fucking creepy.

Seriously y’all how many times do I have to post this.

Did you have a spontaneous porgasm?

Why?

Folks, come on. There’s only one election-themed horror story you need, and it’s here:

You know, I was actually really happy pretending Harry Knowles didn’t have a penis. It’s not something I did consciously, more like something my mind snapped into place out of instinctual self-defense. Now the illusion is gone, and I’m all the sadder for its loss. It’s funny how you never take time to appreciate…

The real punchline there to me is that Mike Pence looks sad because he’s not getting laid both times he pops up, and the second time is literally a thousand-person public orgy.

Why would they, when they could be watching this?

And ironically, right after I write this we hit a stretch of episodes (#12-15) that were actually really good.

I’ve been catching up on the new Twin Peaks. As usual with Lynch, my reaction is “this is okay but I am baffled by the amount of people who seem to think it’s amazing”. It has its moments and is better than the original TP, but I will just never understand the amount of critical jizz that has been squirted over…