If I ever meet him, I'm gonna ask him what it's like to be the most milquetoast Wait Wait Don't Tell Me regular panelist. Like, if he thinks it's an achievement.

I'm William H. Macy, and if you're alone and have a skin condition, you're watching Comedy Central.

I remember "Kathie Lee says 'faster, Cody wants a pony!'" from the promos, which ended up as someone's catchphrase back at ESPN.

I thought it was always something that had been cancelled fairly recently. I never heard "we'll be back with more Strangers With Candy," either.

That one where Sarah Silverman pretends to get off on the Geek Squad guy's technobabble…all of my friends and I were like "man, that guy was pathetic," but inside we were all thinking "man, that could've been me…"

Yeah, that dinner scene manages to be the most offensive part of a movie whose plot surrounds a white man putting on blackface in order to be eligible for scholarships for minorities.

There was this one bit my brother and I used to recite all the time where Ben was driving the car and called Dr. Katz to tell him the shifter was acting up and Dr. Katz was like "You don't have to shift, it's an automatic. Have you been shifting? … Ben, have you been shifting?" and Ben responds "I've been honking the…

I don't think I ever got a sandwich at Quizno's that wasn't either the French dip, or some variation on the French dip.

I really don't get people who leave the tea bag in the tea while drinking it.

That is awesome.

Both of those sound awesome to me, actually.

There was one about 5 or 6 years ago where certain former AT&T Wireless customers who paid an early termination fee got a check for the amount of the early termination fee. That $175 check I got in the mail was pretty awesome.

And then people at the tables next to the stage won't shut the hell up.

Man, was it disappointing when Adult Swim started showing Pee-Wee's Playhouse reruns and they only showed the first half of the opening credits.

Hollywood REALLY wanted us, as a nation, to fall in love with Roberto Begnini.

Because the kid is living in a concentration camp, but is being told by his father that nothing bad is going on. So he grows up to be an adult who travels the world going "See? I lived in [whatever concentration camp they're supposed to be living in] and nothing bad was going on!"

It's baffling enough that it was far more successful than Jakob the Liar, especially considering both came out around the same time.

Last summer, I learned that I need to be A LOT more judicious about who I share my "the kid from Life Is Beautiful grew up to be the world's foremost Holocaust denier" theory with.

The series based on the book Pablo Escobar: El Patron del Mal is also available on Netflix and has been for at least the past six months or so, but you're forgiven for not knowing that, what with the title being in Spanish and all.

Was it the one where he goes on a blind date, and afterwards the person that sets him up asks how it was, and he goes "Hey, fuck you, pal, I'm not THAT desperate"?