It was like a blog-turned-book that skipped step one.

I love how J.Lo has become decidedly more J.Lo with each passing year, as opposed to the Cher/Madonna route of remolding one’s image. She’s always honing the J.Lo aesthetic the fiiiiiinest of fine, fine points, constantly redefining peak J.Lo with every red-carpet appearance. But why say more words when I could just…

“Are they gone?”

Let’s rescind all of Ariana Grande’s future invites, yes, but Demi Lovato gets another shot for saying “balls deep” when I’m pretty sure “balls to the wall” would’ve sufficed.

It worked for Jenna von Oÿ.

You’re the animated hot dog that does tricks behind Danny as he sings “Sandy” at the drive-in! You do tricks to impress a hot dog bun and are literally pathetic.

Kelly Clarkson is the closest thing the Right has to a relevant, non-country pop superstar, so unless you want Jessica Simpson opening every one of your party’s upcoming political events with a needlessly breathy rendition of the national anthem, Fox dude, show some respect.

I just don't get why you're trying to hurt me.

Look at Zayn's face, then go to your room and think about what you've done.

YES. Most enduring song of like 2012 AND 2013 for me.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Kris Jenner is basically the Catherine de' Medici of the 21st century.

YES WE'RE BEST FRIENDS I JUST FORGET MY FRIENDSHIP BRACELET AT HOME YA SEE.

I never thought I'd meet low-energy over it Björk, but I'm so glad to have made her acquaintance.

Yeah, it's not like lyricism was EVER the draw with Kanye.

Yes I saw that documentary too also as well.

Ah, looks like it's the ole "put things in each other's asses" portion of every sports team field trip.*

I've got similar plans for Pearl once she comes back to Brooklyn, except once the clothes come off...

That was a quote from the article. I was using it as a jumping off point to discuss more generally how I feel about Patrick, Kevin, their relationship, what the writers' intentions are, etc. But while we're on the subject of foreskin (how often do you get to use that transition), I remember Patrick becoming more of a…

That's why we need a third season! We need to watch this implode realistically while Patrick realizes how fucked up he is for dumping Richie (and being casually racist in the process — remember how he freaked out over Richie's possible foreskin and had no problem with Kevin's?) and decides not to date for a while but…

The designer Riccardo Tisci described the look as "Victorian chola girl" and a writer from Style.com described it as "California chola girl," not Julianne.