<i>It was fucking stupid when all the major sports leagues just totally ignored DV, but it is every bit as dumb that they're lynching people for he-said, she said stuff without even a conviction. the fact that people are ok with that kind of witch hunt stuff when you could just as easily let the courts decide and…

The Schwab: a hot dog cart in a Chrebet jersey

Hahaha! 'NVH? This car has EVH!!!'

Strange then that his nickname is 'Reach Around'.

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I knew when that compressor on the ice machine went out, everyone was going to finally know the truth.

Such a Luddite! Fobs save you from aggravating your tennis elbow.

Who attaches it to a necklace?

Damn, that's a shitty situation. Or, shituation. I'll be honest, the toilet is a massive waste of home auto protection because it's highly unlikely anyone is going to steal the contents.

I put shifter locks on the refrigerator doors before I go to bed every night. No more food theft and I've lost 15 pounds.

Awesome stuff!!!

HAHAHAHA!!! I'm fucking dying at this idea! Jesus Christ, that has to be the freakiest thing I can imagine. "Why would someone want my identity??? MY CREDIT IS SOOOOO BAD!"

He was raised by dry cleaners.

Ding ding ding!

I enjoyed the whole thing until some asshole ruined the event by whipping out his dick in front of everyone.

Maybe I completely misread this whole essay, but what I got from it is that if I ever really want to kill someone, I should get hired as a cop first. Not only would I avoid prosecution, it also comes with a pension!

HAHAHAHA!!!

I worked with a gentleman who had a green version of the 300 SEL. It looked so gorgeous and the 6.3 on the back looked so cool. $5,000 for one of these? Wow! Leno's description of it being faster than Ferrari's and Porsche's of the time makes it sound like the Mercedes version of the M5. So fucking awesome!

Obviously.

I think he was talking to himself. He mistook his ability to see the bones in your arm for X-ray vision.