In the Return of the Jedi, in the end it wasn't the last Jedi that really helped the final defeat of the Empire—-it was non-Jedi Lando and Nien Nubb and Wedge Antilles and a host of other non-Jedi pilots who brought down the Second Death Star and the Imperial Fleet along with the non-Jedi and Ewoks on Endor who took…

I was born at the dawn of the 1980s, and honestly my generation was a lot more foul mouthed and ruder than the kids I see today. We were all little shits back then.

This kid is to 2017 what the MC5's "Kick Out The Jams" was to 1969.

I'll just keep on snorkeling and hope someone sees me who can offer me a job.

I'm a snorkeler, how do I get this job?

His head only went briefly underwater yet they needed a scuba diver to help him?

Should I encourage him to commit arson

Boy, I already sure do miss center-right assholes at this point…

Baio, get up there and read a poem!

Generic Indie Singer would be a great name…for a death metal band.

And stay the fuck out of Astoria, Oregon too…

You never truly experienced Black Sabbath's "Volume 4" until you got the version that was actually a giant quaaluude.

When I was a teenager trying out alcohol via my parent's liquor cabinet, was used to just mix a little of every liquor in the cabinet into one glass. Grand Marnier, tequila, vodka, rum, whiskey, orange curacao, Kahlua. Similar approach, but equally horrible most likely.

I've been there, no thank you…wasn't that impressed. I think I liked Manitoba better.

I know, the Atlantic Provinces are beautiful, I'm just making a joke about how Cape Breton actually asked Americans to move there.

Hobo, there's a diamond smuggling ring operating out of a gypsy circus nearby and also a very sad clown that needs some career advice. Get on that one, stat!

Please anywhere but Saskatchewan… I'll even go to Cape Breton, but I can't take refugee status in Regina.

We'll keep Zuckerberg on the bench as backup.

I just got out of FEMA camp, after that I could handle anything.

Hopefully there's enough good-hearted billionaires out there willing to share their increase in tax savings to save things like public broadcasting over the next four years.