He's almost as good at playing a corpse as Kevin Costner in The Big Chill!

To be fair, $30 million in 1989 dollars is at least $10 billion in 2014 dollars.

Jesse Thorn needs to stop begging for money.

He doesn't strike me as that bad of a conservative. He's also the best and I'm willing to overlook that flaw, hard as it may be.

Corny personal story time:

I expected "Acadian Driftwood" and got something along the lines of Chris Isaak.

Wow really? I'll admit a certain affinity for Johnny Cash's version off the otherwise loathsome John R. Cash because it at least captures some of the sorrow of the original, but yeah, you're not going to do any better than The Band.

My heart almost broke when I learned that.

Hitler was more of a Kraftwerk guy.

I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with acknowledging the past and a shared cultural history, nor is there anything wrong with having pride in your roots.

God I hated those kids.

Ironic that the greatest, most heartfelt song about Southern pride was written by a bunch of Canadians.

YEAH FUCK THOMAS JEFFERSON

Sometimes I get scared :(

I will say that surreptitiously drinking in the theater is amazing. I snuck two forties into X-Men: First Class and by the final battle on the beach, I was shitfaced and having the best time ever.

"You might think yo' phone is cute, but honey! It ain't!"

Eh, I'm too old to start making new friends

I literally cannot see movies with my degenerate friends anymore. They insist on either smoking weed or getting a drink before going to the theater and we always end up staggering in during the opening credits.

Can AMC cut the five minutes of sassy voiceover telling me to keep my phone turned off while little red periods engage in cartoon hijinks?

I'm obliged to leave this here: