Can you have a series dedicated to a daily Fyre Fest update? This is never not funny.

You have to be a special kind of asshole to refuse funeral services to someone. I have heard of churches doing this, too. This person’s loved ones are experiencing soul-crushing grief. You don’t have to be the humanitarian of the year to show some compassion.

If Jeff Session prosecutes somebody for laughing at him, I should be on death row.

French press tried “it’s not shocking, it doesn’t matter, in France we are more evolved than you puritans” but still published them like “look at her TITS!” So fuck these people. Humans should be allowed to exist without being fapped over.

Clearly missed the obvious promo choice

I really want a job as an influencer. I recommend fruit flavored seltzer water, mixed breed dogs, never wearing shoes with Velcro, and Fun Dip Lik-a-Stix. Does anyone feel influenced? Give me a dollar.

I finally just watched it last night (yes, I binged the whole season), and now I’m just happy that I can read these articles without worrying about spoilers. Also it was awesome and I can’t wait for more. However if I had just vomited up a slug, I think I’d tell somebody, just sayin’.

1) Chelsea Clinton isn’t running for office, but thanks for the comment regardless. 2) She has a PhD from Oxford, but I’m sure your accomplishments are far more substantial.

“ Them’s for lookin, not eatin”

I love how even Mark Zuckerberg was not important enough for them to open the China cabinet and use the good setting. Plastic plates, cups and cutlery for guests... why am I not surprised these folks voted for Trump?

Truth. The nonchalant putting $500 on a wrist band, and I’m working 50 hours a week with a master’s degree and sometimes wonder how we’re getting groceries.

Whenever I read stories like this in the world, I wonder how on earth people my age or younger can just go and willy nilly drop $2000 on something like this. Our household income is twice the median and anything over $200 is a ‘is this ok? Can we do this?’ type of purchase. I always wonder what these people do for a…

like, this was my rent, which I just spent on this thing that’s not happening.

Its Murdaaaaaaaaaa

Scientology is really not comparable to Islam, or any other established faith with centuries of history and millions upon millions of followers.

Knowing as much as I do about both, I’m 100% TEAM DIONNE.

I feel like we’ve saving Europe from fascism again by showing them by example what happens when you vote in a racist, buffoonish nationalist. And without even having to send in troops.

My sister used to think that Luscious Jackson in their song Naked Eye was saying, “With my naked asssssshoooolllleeee...”

He was just THE WORST. Always there to fuck up otherwise sublime songs, like “On Time.”