As an umpire - of the clearly non-professional game - I applaud you. On the other hand, since you’re swimming upstream against the entire Deadspin narrative and commentariat - you’re on your own, man.

I see a lot of people being coy with their responses - and they’re good, don’t get me wrong - but I just can’t. Fuck all Boston-based teams with an iron pole, and fuck ‘em forever. Can’t do, won’t do, subtlety for this.

I’m not sure how long ago you entered this comment, but I’m proud to star it first.  If it doesn’t hit 3-digits, there’s something VERY wrong with people here.

Disagree. I take direct shots and/or tips off the bat that otherwise touch nothing. Most of the time, it’s like a 40s Superman comic - <pwing!>. THIS one was bad, both for the 95mph AND the shot being right around the heart.

They wear BETTER gear than the catcher.  My chest protector - and I’m just some nobody umpire out here in ‘Merica -has a hard plastic shell.  And I’m sure Everett’s does, too.  Except I don’t see 90+ heat in my games too often, if ever.

I, for one, welcome the return of our English overlords.

Pretty smart of Cheeto, though - given how much animals hate the vet, notice he’s hung out around the Art History and Physics departments, instead?

Cardinals pitchers would have been throwing at him, from whatever mound they’re on at the moment.  In other cities.

whynotboth.gif

I’m sure most of the backlash is definitely because foreign tourists are being dicks. (Spoiler alert: it’s that way the world around.) But I’d think there’s still a sizable part of the populace that wishes Commodore Perry had left well and truly alone.

Peanut butter and Nutella

That last sentence is probably the most accurate thing you’ve ever written.

That’s part of his cunning plan to look superior over the commentariat - just wait 15 minutes AND ONE SECOND to respond.

I live in the part of Massachusetts that hates the other part of Massachusetts.

Jesus H. Christ.

Screw that kid and his no brain damage.

So: since “we never know what might happen,” are you one of those douches that only wears a seatbelt because The Man makes you? Or is your macho posturing only for the ballpark?

Now we know what Frazier was saying softly to Adam Eaton to enrage him.  He was describing what he’d done to a stack of pancakes.

My bad. I dislike Marchand for being a violent asshole on the ice. I forgot he’s actually an annoying violent asshole on the ice.  (I remembered there was a licking “incident,” but couldn’t remember who.  So I rolled the dice.  I lost.)

I mean, how can I deny THIS face??!?