I think Michael, you, and literally everyone sending bottled water are missing the incredibly obvious here.

This is tasteless and I don’t care for it. My infant daughters saw that image and now they’re all screaming in unison. Thanks, Deadspin.

My friend (who is a doctor in the deep south) asks her patients if they would like to put on their headphones because she is legally obligated to say stuff that is medically untrue before she begins. Let’s say that again. SHE IS A REAL DOCTOR WHO IS FORCED TO RECITE A SCRIPT OF MEDICALLY UNTRUE INFORMATION! The only…

I get your point but we need to stop invoking rape to defend a woman’s right to an abortion. Most women who get abortions are not victims of rape and incest. And that’s fine. Every woman who has a reason they don’t want to have a baby has a good reason.

Cam is unstoppable! Sarah is gonna be so pissed when Cam beats the Cardinals this Sunday, flies to Seattle, dances on her front lawn, makes her daughter fall in love with him, marries her daughter fifteen months later at a small ceremony for immediate family only in Kauai, raises her grandchildren to be Panthers fans,…

I think the most unbelievable part of the patrolman’s story is that he didn’t repeatedly shoot Chandler Jones.

The ACA rollout wasn’t successful. It was a political disaster. I really like Sebelius, and she took responsibility as a manager. But let's not pretend that went well.

My husband cannot throw the ball and fetch the ball.

This is all the proof you really need.

The solution to disproportionate responses by the government to persons of color is not to call for disproportionate responses by the government to white people. It’s to stop disproportionate responses against persons of color.

After a while it gets boring bringing your trucks to the same spot at the far end of the Walmart parking lot and you start thinking “guys, what if maybe there’s more to life”

Really? I thought sparklers were hotter.

That’s a polar bear you dunce.

Tennessee Titans.

Hard to say for sure, but I thought it was 5 on 1 and 2 on the other.

“The problem with his hips is normal for someone of his height,”

Michigan Football Fan Proposes Unlikely Best Case Scenario About Something Famous Michigan Quarterback Said

In a year of truly important sports investigations done by Deadspin, this is the apex.

Top 10 Cheesecake Factory Cheesed Cakes

Making this post public invites questions about the site’s editorial process. Who the hell signed off on this?