You seem so pleasant! I bet people really do love you. You don't sound like a bitter older lady at all.

YOU MEAN THERE IS AN EXCEPTION TO MY GENERAL STATEMENT?!!?! Oh my god. My mind is blown.

Hahaha. My own mother is actually quite pleasant to wait on, so obviously I know not all older ladies are bad. But the ones who are can really wreck your day.

Exactly! Also LOL at "Japanese business players." That was an accident.

This would have been the largest tip of my life, except I once waited on a bunch of defensive players for the Falcons who were in town doing a football camp at a local highschool. I sold them a bunch of hot pink blueberry martinis (funniest site of my LIFE) and they just loved me for some reason, and the lady…

This:

My impression is that it was usually "ladies who lunch" who had nothing better to do than make people serving them feel as minuscule and unimportant as possible. Aging or not.

Actually I don't think so. Or at least, my impression was that they had not waited tables themselves. They all discussed how they imagined how hard it must be. I think it was just the law school connection. But I'm basically waiting for this to ever happen to me so I can pay it forward.

These stories pretty much reinforce everything I remember about serving: older women are the worst fucking customers on the planet.

Ugh. One of the teachers at my pure barre class (JUDGE AWAY, FOLKS! I LOVE THAT SHIT) was like 8 months pregnant when she stopped teaching. She didn't do situps, but that was about it. God she was so much more fit than me even then. I was super jealous all the time.

I feel like this would taste roughly like the milk in the bottom of the bowl after eating fruit loops. Which is to say, fucking disgusting.

I'm really proud of you for putting 100 grand bar at 6. It is so often overlooked, and it is just a fantastic candy bar.

I've eaten chik-fil-a once since the boycott, when I was home in my small town of bumfuck and there was really no where else to get a quick bite.

Yep. Apparently Macon has a very old baseball stadium that is used often for films. I also learned that the previous summer justin timberlake was there filing the other baseball movie that came out. (On phone... Too lazy to google).

My story will never really win, I'm sure, because it is only bizarre because of the location.

Meh, I got my second dog as a temporary satisfaction of my complaining ovaries. I always wanted two dogs anyway, and my husband and I wanted another year buffer before we have a kid. It works. She's a lovely, cuddly thing.

Totally agree. And you know I have albums full of my pets. As much as I post about them over on GT you know my facebook feed is FULL. Let's be real.

Yeah I feel the same. It is NOT imagined. But I love it. SO MUCH CUTE. And then the people without kids are all "whatever, I'll just post pictures of my cat or dog," and quash is all "yes, I accept that as well."

Please, please go knock on wood. Your "I've never lost them" is really making my superstitious ass worry and those sound too amazing to ever lose!!!

Oh and I take it off when I make like pie dough or bread. Because getting dough out of the little crevices is a legit pain in the ass.