Standing in line.  Cue jokes about not knowing the difference between queue and cue.

This guy IT’s.

I admit I’m willing to make this joke, however only in response to someone else making a tired joke. ie: When I’m standing by the buttons waiting for my floor, I’ll do what you’re supposed to and hit the button for other people who can’t reach it. Quite often someone makes a joke asking how my job is as the…

This is why I don’t say hello to my coworkers; I don’t even bother to make eye contact. I’m all, “TPS reports, Squib. Now.” And everyone in my workplace isn’t miserable and bored from impersonal interactions for 1/3 of their waking lives. My boss did an eval, and I said, “Am working. Leave.” Went great!

Now I’m in the elevator industry and about once a week I get “I bet that has its ups and downs.”

“Workin’ hard, or hardly workin’”? (you just wasted an entire sentence making noise, what do you want/need?)

[Grumbles in Belichick]

I hope most people can support their cause, but I don’t have a hard time understanding why MLS doesn’t want a significant paramilitary contingent at their games. Regardless of what they profess, a bunch of people calling themselves the Iron Front, wearing masks and waving flags can be off-putting to many people who…

Make it Supertrampico and you’ve got your self a winner. It’s only logical.

That’s a lot of words to type to simply say that you hate fun, man. 

No need for VAR. Check ARgentina. or PARaguay.

First can we talk about how brilliant of a name El Tráfico is for this rivalry?

So is she dead already or what?

fuck laundry.

These are gorgeous, but I gotta say you have to be absolutely lousy with natural light for colors that rich and dark. If I ever reno my very dark, very shitty kitchen I doubt I will have anything darker than dove grey :(

My prediction is still Houston trading for someone that makes them better without giving away anything crazy. They did it for Verlander. They did it for Cole. Man, the basketball team did it for Westbrook. I’ve come to expect it.

That’s not gonna happen

Wrong, fucko.  Salmon is bad and isn’t a part of a balanced breakfast!

What college lets you keep an email longer than a year from when you’re off the books? I’d be signing up for all those good college email perks like cheaper Amazon in perpetuity.

My toddler shits the same size and shape as a flashlight or large squash. It’s mind blowing coming outta someone less than four feet tall.