“He’s not kidding!” -Leonard Felch

“Hey Eli, I’ve seen your mom’s -(3 x log(x) - 0.1 exp(-(30 x - 12)^6))!”

“Trust me, you’re better off not knowing.”

uh-oh, AIPAC is gonna be all up in here over this anti-Zionism

I mean I can be mad at George Zimmerman being found innocent, hundreds of cops not facing any murder charges, and still think that Jussie was guilty and deserved jail time. It’s not all mutually exclusive.

My first thought: so just how much extra fuel exactly do you need to bring to get from Oz to PNG on a friggin’ jetski?

But with all 16 felony charges the “Empire” star was facing dropped and his record expunged, prayerfully this will be the last we hear about this.

....Yeah, as much as it costs to go hunting in the great white north there aren’t many hunters who would pay that much money to harvest an animal, cut off it’s head, and leave the rest to rot. When I say not many, I mean zero. Much more likely to have some drunk isolationist Alaskan wound a Moose and have it suffer…

Holy shit you are very angry, pretty much every single hunter uses as much of a harvested animal as they possibly can.

Did you really think I don’t already get BK coupons?

Hell, I am 42 and a lifelong baseball fan, and my response to going to Opening Week was, “Nah”.

Here is the cash grab example I always use. The cost to park during the last season at Shea Stadium was $10 per car. The cost the next season, the first at Citi Field, was $20 per car, now up to $25. A 100% increase to park in the same fucking lot.

A bag ban would be long term detrimental to MLB.

The White Sox traded Tatis to the Padres for James Shields. I hate so much that I am a fan of a team that has been getting thoroughly owned by the fucking Padres. 

I don’t like that the elephant has front-facing eyes. A predator’s eyes. Elephants are supposed to be herbivores. No wonder everyone is freaked out by this mutant creature. The elephants are evolving into killers.

Raytheon, BAE, and Boeing respond to report:

If the DA dropped the case without the PD knowing there is some shady shit going on. But how is Geragos involved? He only came on board after Jussie got indicted right. This whole thing is shady as shit. I hope Jussie’s statement has some actual info.

I hope we get to see Death play more board games.

Bullshit defense. I mean Jodie Foster is sending me secret messages all the time telling me to do crazy things but I ignore her. It’s part of being an adult. I’ll impress her the old fashioned way, not by doing the crazy tasks she orders me to do via repeated viewings of Contact and Taxi Driver. Honestly though…

Much like how Uranus is actually the planet we are “closest” to in a third way because this planet’s full of assholes.