New theory: Ryan Curry is a clone of Riley Curry. This is all part of the Curry family’s attempt to kill us all with the cuteness.

Trump throws a hissy fit demanding that his wall be bigger and better than The Wall on GoT.

Abso-fucking-lutely. If “The Walking Dead” ever becomes reality, I’m like zombie #42. Fuck survival, I like naps and pedicures too much.

Def Orlando

All I could think about during the premier was

We’re focusing on all the wrong things from this year’s program because we’re not talking about this

Sonja speaks truth to power. She’d be perfect if I could just buy her goddamn toaster oven.

So, like, I understand that this dirt bag is full of words that are actual words, but I remain unable to make meaning out of any of this.

Slade Smiley is what gonorrhea would look like if gonorrhea was a person.

Ummmm, Kara- they’re called Sky Tops. They’re designer and often knocked off, so don’t be fooled. #fashion #2007 #thisiswhythealienswonttalktous

Actual footage of dinner in the Cruz household

Hey Joe- take the first part of Burr’s advice, kthnxbye.

It’s almost like refusing to indict cops who murder innocent young Black men is a bad career move.

“Nah, more fun this way. I’m kind of a dick.”

“Never. The plan is never.”

Schipperkes are tiny terrorists who will not bend to your will. They will not be contained by crates (he lost four puppy teeth trying to chew his way out), baby gates (did chew his way out) or doors (no fucking idea how he opened it but he did and was waiting by the front door when we got home). Those little fuckers…

Fun Fact: Some folks believe that Washington’s bout of smallpox as a teen left him sterile.

More like Ruth BAEder Ginsburg.

“I had to go to court today because I filed bankruptcy to avoid paying a $7 million judgment against me for distributing revenge porn and making an innocent woman collateral damage in a disagreement I had with Rick Ross”