You forgot Batman v Superman.

Amen, I was hoping someone would point out it looks like a Casio My First Keyboard.

There are ice cube trays that make long, narrow cubes/cylinders. You could pop them right down through the openings in bottles and cans. My roommate bought one in college and it revolutionized our low-key public drinking.

If someone asks when you’re having a baby, answer simply “for dinner.”

I just went into his office and beat the hell out of myself in front of him. For some reason, I thought of my first fight with Tyler.

This is fulfilling my wildest dreams. It should have a persona-esque social element, where Gambit can take you out to a romantic dinner and dancing in the midnight streets of Baton Rouge. I mean...um...my friend thinks that.

You chose to kill, and now you must suffer the consequences. FYI, I would have turned off the monitor, let the heat dissipate, and waited for the bug to leave the light/warmth. But then again, I’m not a murderer!

There were more people at my inauguration.

Don’t be judgmental. It isn’t like our planet isn’t totally screwed too.

Seriously! Way better to be the fun aunt/uncle!

If I had known I could get women with DLC, I would have ordered the season pass! *eyebrow wiggles*

Add 10 years to all game development schedules. Delays eliminated and everything will come out early!

The sequel to this graphic novel is fucking terrifying.

It wasn’t HER speech. It was THEIR ceremony. Good job, grads.

Pirates should be saying “Fine, we’ll crack and pirate your mod then.” Not advocating this, but come on pirates. Don’t bitch just because you have to try slightly harder.

They’ll probably confiscate it...along with your in-flight snack.

A town near me (not terribly far from NYC) painted a blue line down the main street in their town to show support of police. People complained that it was a direct response to BLM (it was) and had racist connotations (it did). The town painted red and white lines to change the appearance to an expression of…

Once I thought I was watching really pixelated Japanese porn, but it turned out I was just playing Minecraft. At least those walking green dicks that explode make more sense now.

I’m with you. I have a low tolerance for songs where artists bitch about what they do. Other careers can be just as hard or harder, but without the ability to complain or get applause after they do their job.

Watch the Low Life video and you’ll see staring, dead-eyed, into the middle distance, often repeating a single phrase until it loses all meaning is what That Poppy does best.